House Mountain Hike #207, Sunday, 3-29-2026: Tenth Anniversary of My Near-Death Accident (published 3-31-2026; article #549)

Introduction

Hello again, dear hiking enthusiast, and welcome back. You may have already read my first article today about my 206th hike on House Mountain last Saturday. A day later, on the afternoon of Palm Sunday, two days ago, I returned for my 207th hike on the highest mountain in Knox County, Tennessee.

I hope that you enjoy this 85th entry in the Hiking topic section. This is also the 19th entry for the topic section My Bionic Life - since 3/29/2016. The embedded audiovisual link below explains why this article is also included in that topic section. In short, this hike celebrated the tenth year since my near-death accident.

Hiking Up the West Trail

After morning worship and my noon meal, my 2006 Frontier and I arrived to see the main parking lot almost full. After managing to locate a parking spot, I saw a younger couple examining the trail map on the information board. Greeting them, I learned that it was their first time to hike on House Mountain. With interest, they listened as I described the trails and the view from the upper-middle bluff. Starting out ahead of me, I noticed that they chose the east trail to arrive at the bluff more directly.

At 2:12 PM, I touched the marker near the covered picnic area and started my hike up the west trail (as the day before). Warmer than yesterday, the temperature was in the low 60s Fahrenheit when I started hiking. A few passing clouds colored white sections of the crisp blue canopy.

The low-lying wet and muddy area was dryer than yesterday. After getting around the recently fallen tree, mentioned in today's first article, I quickly ascended the four lower switchbacks. At 2:28 PM, I started up the six upper switchbacks, reaching the highest one eight minutes later.

As on the day before, after twelve minutes of hiking the narrow and rocky trail below the ridge, I reached the west bluff at 2:48 PM. It was a minute slower than yesterday's hike. At one of several rocky areas, I had paused to ensure that a fallen hiker was okay. Two other hikers were with him. Still seated on a rock, his companions assured me that he was fine and just resting from his fall.

Photograph and Audiovisual Clip from Above the West Bluff

A young couple was already at the bluff. Giving them their moment, I hiked a few yards northeast on the ridge trail, waited a while, and enjoyed the views.

At 2:58 PM, with the young couple nearby but not in the frame, I took the following photograph:

The view looks southwest. The rock outcropping, centered and farthest away in the image, is where the young couple had been standing. You may be able to see my trusty canteen hanging from the trail sign to the left in the image.

Just over 15 minutes later, at 3:16 PM, I recorded the 41st episode of Appalachian Irishman – Podcasts (YouTube), titled House Mt. Hike 207, 3-29-2026: Tenth Anniversary of My Near-Death Accident (pub. 3-31-2026; ep. 41). The brief audiovisual clip of just under three and a half minutes pans the horizon to show what my eyes enjoyed seeing directly. Further, I mention that I was almost killed ten years ago on Tuesday, 3/29/2016, around 5:15 PM. An uninsured driver failed to yield to my right-of-way while I was driving home from work.

Hiking Back Down the West Trail

Tempted to continue northeast to the upper-middle bluff, I decided to hike back down and out on the west trail, up which I had hiked. I thought that I would join my wife, who was visiting with her sister, who lives nearby.

At 3:12 PM, I started trekking down the west trail. On the trail below the ridge and near what I call “the defiant tree” (recent photographs of which are in the articles from 5/5/2023 and 12/30/2024), I met a large group hiking up. It was also their first time to hike House Mountain, and they appreciated my suggestion of how to reach the upper-middle bluff for the view and hike out the east trail.

From 3:32 to 4:06 PM, 34 minutes, I completed the hike down and out. I touched the same trail sign near the picnic area to end my hike.

Beforehand, however, I caught up to the three hikers, mentioned earlier, whom I had met while hiking up along the trail below the ridge. I learned that the man, who had fallen earlier, is 59 years old and has battled multiple sclerosis since 2001. He is only three years younger than my brother, next in age to me, who contracted multiple sclerosis in the late 1990s. I offered a prayer for this brave man. He, in turn, offered a prayer for my brother.

Conclusion

As the earlier article today explained, before last weekend, I had not hiked House Mountain since my 205th hike on Sunday afternoon, 1/4/2026. I needed to get out and into the woods last weekend. The exercise and the views were beneficial and inspiring.

With thanksgiving to God, who granted my recovery from the near-death wreck ten years ago, I hope to continue hiking, especially on House Mountain. My next goal is 225 hikes on House Mountain.

Easter, or Resurrection Sunday, as I prefer to call it, is this coming Sunday. The resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ should be celebrated daily and every Sunday. As a Christian, my everlasting goal is to continue “hiking” upward toward heaven. Is that your goal, dear reader? If you are “hiking” downward and would like to converse with me, please email me using the Contact Form on this website. I am just a former hungry beggar who found the Bread of Life. I am very interested in sharing that Bread with you.

House Mountain Hike #206, Saturday, 3-28-2026: It Was About Time! (published 3-31-2026; article #548)

Introduction

Greetings, hiking enthusiasts, and welcome to the 84th entry in the Hiking topic section. This article highlights my 206th hike on House Mountain (my mountain) on Saturday, 3/28/2026.

Previously, my 205th hike was on Sunday afternoon, 1/4/2026. The article from 1/9/2026 was about that hike. The two articles from February were about my father-in-law's transition from temporal to everlasting life and the snow, which delayed his graveside service. The three earlier articles in March focused on yard work at the homeplace and a dusting of snow. Obviously, other more pressing matters kept me out of the woods for the last two months.

Saturday's weather was clear, crisp, and perfect for hiking. House Mountain was calling. It was about time. I had to go! Please enjoy hiking along with me on my 206th House Mountain hike by reading this article.

Hiking Up on the West Trail

Delays: Early Saturday morning, I did a load of laundry. Later, around 11:15 AM, my sister-in-law, who lives nearby, drove over to pick up Mrs. Appalachian Irishman. Jamie, a family friend from Athens, Tennessee, had turned another year older the previous Wednesday. My wife, her sister, and our niece went on a girls' day trip to Athens to celebrate Jamie's birthday. Also around that time, Kevin, our mower guy, arrived to mow. I waited until he finished before driving the short distance in my 2006 Frontier to House Mountain.

Leaving home, the temperature was 55 degrees Fahrenheit with light breezes at times. At the parking lot, my 20-year-young truck registered 199,773.6 miles. Touching the marker near the covered picnic area at 1:56 PM, I started hiking up the connector trail. Before reaching the bridge, the low-lying area was wet and muddy. Smooth rocks, however, provided stepping stones. Across the bridge, I turned left at the junction to go up the west bluff.

Well before reaching the lower four switchbacks, a recently fallen tree forced me to crawl on hands and feet to get up and over it. Thankfully, I didn't come across any other obstacles. At 2:12 PM, I started ascending the six upper switchbacks, and, seven minutes later, I reached the highest one. My upper layers were a tee shirt and a thin pullover long-sleeve shirt. I almost shed the long-sleeve shirt while hiking up the upper switchbacks. They provided another excellent cardiovascular workout!

Twelve minutes later, at 2:31 PM, I had negotiated the trail below the ridgeline and reached the west bluff. Only pausing at times to sip water from my canteen, I had made the complete trek up from the base to the bluff in 35 minutes. I still enjoy the spectacular views of the rock outcroppings on the trail below the ridge. Further, I am still able to cautiously scale up the two rock formations, which require crawling up on hands and feet.

Trekking Across the Ridge to the Upper-Middle Bluff

At the west bluff, I conversed briefly with a younger man, who had been hiking up just behind me. It was his first hike on House Mountain. Not yet fully recovered from a viral infection, the younger man planned to keep in mind my description of the bluffs on the ridge trail. At the moment, however, he was still weak from his recent virus and planned to hike back down the west trail.

After cooling off and enjoying the view, I continued northeast along the ridge trail at 2:37 PM. Not wishing to delay my arrival at the upper-middle bluff, I avoided exploring around the foundation where the old fire tower once stood, the dilapidated two-seater outhouse, and the rock formation, which I call the “picnic rock.”

A few minutes after passing the trail junction that leads down the east trail, I passed by the lower-middle bluff. An American flag was flying along aside the rock formation. Around five minutes later, at 2:58 PM, I reached the upper-middle bluff!

Already at the bluff were a young woman and her two daughters (ages 9 & 20 months). As requested, I photographed them using her phone camera. She said that her husband and their two sons were adventuring elsewhere.

After they left to hike back down and out, I took the following photograph at 3:20 PM:

I was sitting on a rock formation behind me. The spectacular view looks northwest toward the Cumberland Mountains, which are farthest away in the image. The lush and expansive valley was below me. Not in the image, I counted at least four hawks circling nearby. Do you understand why I enjoy the challenging hike up to see this view? I thought so.

Hiking Down and Out on the East Trail

Five minutes after taking the above photograph, I started the trek out and down along the east trail. Like the west trail, the east trail includes six upper switchbacks. The highest one, eroded over the years by inconsiderate hikers, remains a challenge for my surgically repaired right knee and foot. Crawling down on my backside, using hands and feet, I safely negotiated the area.

Just after descending the upper switchbacks, I was pleasantly surprised to meet Maurice and Angela again. They are mentioned with high regard in the articles from 10/26/2023 and 12/1/2023. A finer couple you could not meet on House Mountain.

At 4:15 PM, as I was meandering southwestward along the low-lying trail, my “long-suffering” wife called my cell phone. Her sister had dropped her off at the house after their girls' day trip to Athens. Unfortunately, my wife didn't have her house key with her! Undaunted, she decided to await my return on the front porch. Molly, our 11-year-young “puppy,” of course, entertained her.

At 4:48 PM, I touched the same marker near the picnic area to end my hike. Two hours and 52 minutes in the woods was better than not having been there! It was a great “man day out.”

Conclusion

Yes, once at my truck, I called my dear wife to let her know that I was leaving. Arriving home just before 5 PM, I saw my wife wandering around in the front yard. Not angry at me because she forgot to take her house key; she was merely glad to be able to go indoors.

In the future, dear reader, if you have a spouse who enjoys hiking, you may want to take your house key if you are out and about on your own. Who knows? Your avid-hiker spouse may have decided to go hiking!

Please stand by, dear friend. I hiked House Mountain again the next afternoon on Palm Sunday. That forthcoming article will follow this one.

Follow-Up to Recent Yard Work at the Homeplace (published 3-27-2026; article #547)

Introduction

Greetings, dear reader, and welcome to the 116th entry in the Life (such as it is) topic section. On this cloudy and warm Friday afternoon, this article reflects on my trip to the homeplace last Tuesday, the 24th, when morning clouds gave way to a crisp and sunny afternoon.

My Tuesday trip was to follow up on the yard work from Friday, March 6, which led to the blazing surprise the next evening. The article from 3/16/2026 was about the yard work and the unexpected fire.

Concluding thoughts reflect on my recently deceased father-in-law, whose 88th birthday would have been last Tuesday. Further final thoughts mention the eye infection that the “long-suffering” contracted on Tuesday.

All Was Well, But More Work Awaits.

Last Tuesday's morning clouds and a household chore almost forestalled my drive up to the homeplace in Hawkins County, Tennessee. Thankfully, with the job done and the clouds dissipated, I left home at 12:18 PM in my 2006 Frontier. After an hour and 12-minute drive, I arrived at the homeplace at 1:30 PM.

Outside, I picked up and moved several handfuls of larger branches to the brush pile. Further, I used my trimming tools (brought with me) to trim and cut low branches from trees. Those also went to the brush pile. I saw a next-door neighbor driving out to go somewhere. Unfortunately, he didn't see me walking toward him and waving my arms.

An across-the-road neighbor, however, returned home while I was trimming trees. He rode over on his 4-wheeler to visit for a spell. His wife and he were doing well. He plans to repair his tractor and use it to move the brush pile a few feet closer to the still-standing trunk of the burned tree.

At 3:18 PM, I took the following photograph from the field behind the house:

The view looks north. That's my 20-year-young truck parked near the house. In the foreground are the much smaller brush pile and the dead tree trunk, which caught on fire on March 6 and reignited on the evening of March 7.

The main work awaiting to be done involves moving the brush pile closer to the dead tree trunk and starting a controlled fire to completely burn everything. Once our neighbor repairs his tractor, the plan is to move the brush pile and set fire to it all. Of course, the weather will have to be cloudy and damp with no wind. Further, I plan to obtain the burn permit and have plenty of extra water hose handy. As an aside, I offered to drive up and help our neighbor repair his tractor if he needed my assistance.

Dad's Winesap Apple Trees Were in Bloom!

Most importantly, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the two Winesap apple trees, which my father planted years before he passed on, were putting out leaves and blooming! They were not dead, despite not putting out leaves or producing apples last year!

Last year, on Sunday afternoon, 10/12/2025, my wife and I visited the homeplace after meeting my youngest brother and his family for a late lunch during Heritage Days. Then, the apple trees looked dead, as if an apple tree blight had killed them.

Those two Winesap apple trees are a lesson in resilience! If life blights you with tragedy, by God's grace and your strong will, adapt, improvise, recover, and continue to bloom and produce fruit for the kingdom of God!

Conclusion

Leaving the homeplace at 3:55 PM, my old truck and I were back home at 5:05 PM. My wife, arriving a few minutes later, saw me sitting on the front porch and digging out sap from the soles of my warm-weather hiking shoes. I must have stepped in tree sap while trimming tree branches.

The article from 2/13/2026 was a tribute to my father-in-law, Jimmie Gordon, who had recently transitioned from temporal to everlasting life. His 88th birthday would have been last Tuesday. My wife's strong faith comforted her that day, since she knows that she will see her father again.

Ironically, my “long-suffering” wife will also remember last Tuesday as the day a sty formed inside her lower-left eyelid. Undaunted, she started treating it with over-the-counter medications and saw her primary care provider yesterday. The prescription, which she picked up, should stop that pesky little sty.

Well, that's all for now, folks. Tune in later for another episode of this Appalachian Irishman's life, such as it is, experiences.

The Snow Dusting of Monday, March 16, 2026 (published 3-19-2026; article #546)

 Introduction

For days, local weather prognosticators were warning us about the forthcoming “weather-aware” event. The early spring weather pattern, which we had been enjoying, changed. Last Monday, March 16, the rain, overnight and into the early morning, ushered in a cold front, which dropped the temperature throughout the day.

Welcome, dear reader, to the 115th entry in the Life (such as it is) topic section. This brief article pokes, in kindness, some lighthearted fun at local weather forecasters. First, however, we step back in time four years to the blizzard of March 2022.

The Blizzard of Saturday, March 12, 2022

Four years ago, on Saturday, March 12, 2022, the next-day transition to so-called Daylight Savings (“guvrmint”) Time loomed before us. Meteorological spring had already started on the first of March.

On that Saturday, I measured seven and a half inches of snow in the front yard. That was a real snow! The article from Saturday, 3/12/2022, was about that springtime blizzard and includes a brief audiovisual clip of me measuring the snow.

The Snow Dusting of Monday, March 16, 2026

Last Monday, the temperature at dawn was a balmy 58 degrees Fahrenheit. The overnight rain continued until early morning, when the temperature began to fall.

Area weather prognosticators predicted the rain and temperature drop, but they claimed the afternoon would bring only light snow flurries. From around 12 to 4:30 PM, however, we experienced significant bursts of snowfall. At times, snow was falling so thickly that I could barely make out nearby houses and woodlands.

Of course, the ground was too warm for the snow to accumulate much. At 4:36 PM, I took the following photograph of the snow dusting on the front yard and the roof:

A few minutes later, at 5 PM, I noticed the temperature was 38 degrees Fahrenheit. If the ground had been cold, and if the temperature had dropped below freezing, we would have seen significant snow accumulation, similar to four years ago.

Conclusion

Meteorology is not an exact science. A five-day forecast predicts weather accurately 90% of the time. A seven-day forecast is about 80% accurate. A ten-day forecast, however, is a toss-up with 50% accuracy. Source: “How Reliable Are Weather Forecasts?” National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA): National Environmental Satellite, Data, and Information Service (NESDIS)

Last Sunday night into Monday, local meteorologists predicted correctly the overnight rain and dropping temperatures. Their prediction of snow flurries, in contrast, turned into heavy snowfall, which could not accumulate well.

This Appalachian Irishman enjoyed a moment of redbud winter. For the last two days, the lows and highs were in the mid-to-upper 20s and low-to-mid 40s. This morning, the temperature at dawn was 28 degrees, but under a clear, crisp blue sky, the high should reach into the 60s. Redbud winter lasted three days.

Recent Yard Work at the Homeplace: The Blazing Surprise and Thankfulness for Good Neighbors, Family, and a Friend (published 3-16-2026; article #545)

Introduction

Greetings and welcome, dear reader, to the 114th entry in the Life (such as it is) topic section! Also categorized as the 108th entry in the Heritage topic section, this article focuses on the recent yard work at the homeplace in Hawkins County, Tennessee.

The homeplace is steeped in family heritage and filled with memories, some bad but mostly good. On Friday, March 6, this Appalachian Irishman assisted the two-man crew he hired to do a significant amount of yard work. With further future plans in mind, Lord willing, the first plan to improve the yard is completed.

Thankfully, my youngest brother and his wife were able to put out the blazing surprise the following evening. Do you have a burning interest to know what the surprise was? Well, please read further as I explain!

Friday, 3/6: Cutting, Trimming, Piling, and Burning

After my father passed away in January 2008, T&C Lawn Service in Whitesburg, Tennessee—which comes with the highest recommendation—has been mowing the yard at the homeplace. Before he died, my father insisted on mowing the yard with a riding mower. I am proud that the Lord graced him with the strength to do so. Dad enjoyed mowing.

According to previous arrangements, a two-man crew, both young men, arrived on Friday, March 6, around 8 AM and started working. Delayed by my ill-timed attempt to trim my beard, which I had mistakenly let grow out, I left our house at 8:40 AM and arrived at the homeplace by 9:50 AM.

After explaining the complete work that I intended, I started using Papaw Wood's old wheelbarrow and began loading fallen tree branches from the yard into it and moving them to the brush pile in the field behind the house. Papaw's wheelbarrow got a good workout during the day. Well, I did also.

Meanwhile, the two young men cut down three scrub trees in the yard. Also, they cut off low-hanging branches from good trees. Additionally, they trimmed and shaped two bushes. Further, they cut back the dead growth from Granny Wood's grapevine, which I hope grows back from the roots. Finally, one young man, Logan, climbed onto the roof, removed branches that had blown from nearby trees, and blew out the gutters.

The two young men from T&C Lawn Service certainly had the right tools. They used a tractor with a grapple to pick up, move, and pile the debris onto the brush pile. If I had done all the work that they did, I would have had to buy a good chain saw and spend several days doing the work that they did in one day. Thank you, T&C Lawn Service, especially Logan and Will!

Joining the Friday Fun

A good neighbor from across the road drove over on his golf cart to visit for a while. For years, his wife and he have been keeping an eye on the homeplace for us. He and I have burned several brush piles over the years from the debris that I had cut back.

Bill, a friend since grade school who lives not far away, drove over in the afternoon. Later on, seeing the need for additional water hose, he left and came back with two of his hoses. Those will be important as this burning story unfolds, dear reader!

The Friday Fire

Hungry at around noon and before Bill arrived, I drove the short distance to a nearby fast food restaurant to have dinner (or lunch, as Yankees call it). I wasn't gone thirty minutes.

While I was gone, the two young men from T&C Lawn Service set the brush pile on fire in a controlled burn. Early that morning, Cody, from T&C Lawn Service, had obtained a burn permit. I returned just before Bill arrived and was surprised to see the brush pile burning. Since the weather was mostly sunny, warm, and breezy, I thought that another day, cloudy and damp with no wind, would be better for burning the brush.

The brush fire was burning but under control. Unfortunately, a gust of wind blew an ember from it onto a dead tree, which was fairly close to the burning brush pile. The dead tree, with two trunks, caught on fire! To worsen the situation, 22 old tires—18 of which were on metal wheels—from my father's well machine and water truck (both salvaged years ago) were propped up against the dead tree. We certainly did not want those rubber tires to catch on fire.

Water pumped from the well that my father drilled in 1974 ran through three sections of hose to an old nozzle, which was stored in the kitchen. The two T&C Lawn Service employees, Bill, and I took turns dousing the burning tree. Thankfully, the rubber tires never did catch on fire.

Around 3:30 PM, the brush pile and the dead tree were smoldering but not burning. The T&C Lawn Care employees, realizing that their work was finished, and the burn was under control, loaded up their tools and left after a job well done. I wrote a check to T&C Lawn Service for payment and gave it to them before they left.

Bill and I stayed until just after 5 PM, when I left for home. Thankfully, Bill, showing what friendship means, stayed around for quite a while to watch the brush pile and dead tree. If he had not volunteered to do so, I would have had to spend the night at the homeplace.

At 4:58 PM, just before I left, I photographed the following image of the dead tree and the brush pile. I was standing beside my 2006 Frontier, and Bill was standing behind me.

The dead tree and the brush pile were smoking, but no fires were burning. The wind had died down. A neighbor's house is seen in the background. The view looks southwest. Notice that one of the two tree trunks had already fallen.

Staying around, Bill took the following photograph of the dead tree, which had started burning again, at 7:15 PM.

A strong wind gust had fanned the embers. Thankfully, Bill was able to use the water hose to douse the fire. He remained until about 8:30 PM to ensure that both fires were out. Thank you so much, my good friend, Bill!

Saturday Morning and Afternoon: All Was Well

The next day, Saturday, 3/7, I had to take our 2012 Nissan Sentra for service at two nearby locations. The car needed an oil and filter change, tires rotated, and an alignment. With those obligations and with the understanding that all was well at the homeplace, I decided not to drive back up there to survey the brush pile and dead tree.

Just after 11:30 AM, as I was about to drive our car into the service bay for an oil and filter change and tire rotation, Bill's text indicated that he had gone back to the homeplace at 1:45 AM, early that morning, to check the dead tree and brush pile. Apparently, Logan and Will had returned after Bill left last evening. They had moved the 22 old tires, 18 on metal wheels, away from the dead tree, which caught on fire last evening. Further, they had moved the two branches, which fell from the dead tree, onto the brush pile. Thank you, Logan and Will, for your above-and-beyond service!

Bill's text included the following two images:

The above, looking southwest, shows the dead tree, tires and wheels, and part of the burnt brush pile. Nothing was smoldering. Both fires had been out for several hours.

The above close-up image looks to the east. What was left of the dead tree showed no signs of residual fire or smoke. The fire was out.

Saturday Evening: The Blazing Surprise!

Saturday evening settled into the usual routine. My wife and I ate supper around 6 PM. Shortly thereafter, Molly, our 11-year-young “puppy,” joined us in the living room. Of course, Molly took her usual brief excursions outside. She and I also played a couple of “got 'ems” games with her treats. The television was tuned to something of mild interest.

Around 8:30 PM, my youngest brother called but didn't leave a message. My wife couldn't pick up the phone quickly enough to answer. At the time, I was taking Molly outside for our evening “romp and stomp.” Roughly 30 minutes afterward, Molly bedded down for the night in her basement “condominium.” I called my youngest brother to find out why he had called.

The blazing surprise was that his wife and he were at the homeplace and quenching the fire that had blazed up in the dead tree! An across-the-road neighbor had called him. Thankfully, the hoses and nozzle from yesterday were still in place, and the water well pump was still on. I reached the nearby volunteer fire department by phone. A firefighter drove up to see if any help was needed. Fortunately, my youngest brother and his wife had doused the blaze, and no additional help was needed.

Afterward, I turned on my cell phone to discover missed calls and voicemails from two nearby neighbors. A west-side neighbor had called at 8:05 PM. An across-the-road neighbor had called at 8:15 PM.

My youngest brother and his wife stayed for a while to ensure that the fire was completely out, after which they returned home. Around 10:30 PM, I called to confirm that they were back home safely.

The next afternoon, Sunday, I called our two neighbors to thank them for calling last evening to report the fire. One neighbor said that an intensely strong wind had blown through the area around 8 PM last evening. The wind must have ignited ashes at the base of the dead tree.

Conclusion

Lord willing, other future improvements are in mind for the homeplace. The first plan to improve the yard has been accomplished, despite the blazing surprise.

This Appalachian Irishman is thankful for good neighbors, family, and friends. Further, I am grateful to T&C Lawn Service for a job well done.

I am especially thankful to Bill, my dear friend, who demonstrated true friendship. Last Wednesday, 3/11, I had planned to drive up to the homeplace. Bill was going to meet me and help move the 22 old tires, 18 on metal wheels, from the hay field to a better location in the backyard. Unfortunately, I forgot about the need to stay home that day. I had arranged service for our 2012 Sentra to replace the defective driver's-side power window components. Early that morning, I had to call Bill to explain and let him know that I would reschedule for another day.

What did Bill do to my pleasant surprise? Alone, he moved the tires! He sent me the following two photographs after he had moved them:

The above shows the tree stump and what's left of the burn pile. The tires were gone!

The above image shows where Bill placed the tires and wheels, neatly resting against a tree in the backyard. Thank you so much, Bill. When you need my help, please call, and I will come running! By the way, my wife is planning to make you some no-bake cookies.

Lord willing, future improvements to the homeplace will not include any more blazing surprises! Stay tuned for further improvement updates, dear reader.