Translations

Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Friday, December 30, 2022

TN TDOT Name a Snowplow Contest - Last Day to Vote! (published 12-30-2022; article #383)

Introduction

Early this morning, while performing my routine fecal plowing, I was listening to News Talk 98.7 FM, on one of the three radios, on my bathroom sink counter top. A news item – aside from shootings in other states reported as “local” news – that caught my attention was that the final day to vote, in TDOT's name a snowplow contest, is today.

Several days ago, a local TV station had mentioned this contest. I had flushed the thought, after wondering why TDOT would waste “toilet paper” money on such a silly contest. Well, the thought “back flushed” into my mind.

Yes, I know that, on 12/30/2000, family and I gathered, in the frigid cold, for the graveside service for Mom (Betty Lou Wood Ferrell, 11/24/1932 - 12/27/2000). Writing this humorous article, however, will help lift my spirit and distract my thoughts, from memories of Mom's graveside service.

Name a Snowplow

After my morning fecal plowing, I found, on TN TDOT Department of Transportation, “Name A Snowplow Contest: Voting Begins.” (The “A” should not be capitalized.)

One of three photographs from “Name A Snowplow Contest: Voting Begins.”

The content of that web page is:

Vote for your favorite Snowplow name. Simply check the circle beside the name you like best and hit submit. Voting ends Friday, December 30 at 4:30 p.m. The top four names with the most votes will be displayed on four different snowplows – one in each region. The winners will be announced in early January.

*Select your favorite entry*

Twenty-five candidates are listed.

Contest Voting*

Big Leplowski; Big Orange; BoomBoomPlow; Brinestone Plowboy; Darth Blader; Don't flurry, be happy; Freeze Slick Mafia; Gatlinbrr; Graceland Growler; Grit & Brine; King Henry; Melton John; MilkNBread; Nashville Plowdators; No More, Mr. Ice Guy! Reba McEnplower; Rhinestone Plowboy; Sleetwood Mac; Snowlene; Snowletta Lynn; Sweet Child O' Brine; Tennessee VolunCLEAR; Thaw Enforcement; Tim McThaw; You're Welcome

Thank you for your submission. A TDOT representative will contact the contest winners.

The website does not state how the 25 candidates were certified or who the contestants are. I suspect a “TDOT deep-state conspiracy!”

After seconds of “deep contemplation,” I voted for “No More, Mr. Ice Guy!” – twice. I reloaded the website. What do you know? The website allowed me to vote often! Since I hadn't voted early, I decided to vote again. So, I voted once more for “No More, Mr. Ice Guy!” I decided that two votes were enough. Of course, I could have continued to reload the website and to vote far more often, until 4:30 PM, but I have better ways to occupy my time.

Of course, I have several questions. Is this the primary or general election? When did voting start? (I voted twice on the last day to vote.) Should voting have been allowed on one day only? Are only Tennessee citizens allowed to vote? Are illegal aliens or citizens in other states, or nations, allowed to vote? (I did not have to present a voter registration card.) Does voting end today at 4:30 PM Central Time or Eastern Time? Was there early voting, before the unknown day that voting started? If so, what were the early voting numbers? What about paper ballots? When will the votes be counted? Who will count the votes? Are they certified to count them? Will there be a recount? What about a tie? Will there be a runoff? What about hanging Internet chad? Will you fine or arrest me, since I voted twice? These are several questions that come to mind.

Conclusion

On the eve of New Year's Eve in 2022, I remember, with sadness, Mom's graveside service, on the eve of New Year's Eve in 2000. I remember my “adopted sister” and her husband, from Missouri, visiting at the homeplace, before the service. I remember the bitter cold. I remember driving in the funeral procession to the cemetery. I remember blocking the impatient driver, who tried to pass the procession. I remember shivering, while seated on the very cold metal chair, during the service. I remember how Dad (Earl Ferrell, 9/17/1927 - 1/25/2008) looked and what he said. I remember the family gathering at the homeplace after the service. I remember every detail.

Should I email TDOT.Comments@tn.gov, with a link to this article? If I do and get a reply, then I will mention it in a comment. As a public service, I encourage my readers in Tennessee to vote early and often! Today is the last day to vote. Readers in other states or nations, of course, are free to decide to vote or not, based on their own convictions.

Mom, of course, would understand why I wrote this humorous article, laced with sorrow, today. Mom enjoyed my sense of humor. Perhaps, once I join Mom, and so many others, in heaven, I'll share this story with her. I will have plenty of time to do so.


Monday, December 05, 2022

Fightin' the System Victory - New Plate on Truck! (published 12-5-2022; article #375)

Dodge Charger in window from Dukes of Hazzard,” by Sean Foster, on Unsplash, Gatlinburg, TN, 10/7/2021. Free to use under the Unsplash License.

Introduction

Greetings, local, state, national, and international readers! This article is mostly of interest to local readers. All y'all, however, may enjoy the humor!

This article expresses my sarcastic humor. In a way, it is a follow up to my articles of 9/21/2021 (RATE THE PLATES IS ON!) and of 3/20/2022 (TENNESSEE “BLUE PLATE SPECIAL” LICENSE PLATES – 180 OPTIONS!). Both articles still draw views.

The Fight

Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I disdain the new “blue plate special” Tennessee license plates. The base color should have remained white, not changed to dark blue! On 4/22/2022, she selected a particular specialty license plate – paying extra to avoid a “blue plate special.”

My new, ol' truck (2006 Nissan Frontier) needed a new license plate this month. On 11/25/2022, the day after Thanksgiving, I ordered on the correct Tennessee Department of Revenue website, the Appalachian Trail specialty plate. For a few dollars more, I decided to personalize it with “LIKE2” – to indicate that I'd still like to hike the Appalachian Trail all the way. (I've hiked a few miles of it only, in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.) I used a credit card to pay the Department of Revenue for my new plate.

On 11/30/2022 – Granny Ferrell's birthday anniversary, mentioned in my 11/30/2022 article – I checked the state website and saw that my personalized specialty plate was approved. The website, however, does not state how much time is required until the plate is ready. My calls to a Knox County Clerk office and the State of Tennessee informed me that 30 to 45 are required! I was shocked! My truck's plate expires on 12/31/2022. From 11/25/2022, 30 days is Christmas (12/25/2022), and 45 days is 1/9/2023.

The fight was on! I would not wait until or past “crunch time,” to get that new plate! The “My Letter” section, below, has all the “rich, full” details.

By the way, don't try the State of Tennessee's Citizen Inquiry (Contact) or Chat. The robot chat is useless. I received no reply to my “contact.”

My Victory

I'm just an educated country boy – with Irish dander! I would not wait around, fretting, 30 to 45 days, to see when my new plate would be ready!

On Friday, 12/2/2022, my ol' truck and I visited a Knox County Clerk office. In about 30 minutesnot 30 days – I was able to acquire my new plate. It is a specialty Appalachian Trail plate – with random numbers on it. I like it. It's not a “blue plate special.”

Before the sun was up this morning, I placed in our mailbox, with flag up, my letter to the Tennessee Department of Revenue Commissioner. I saw the mailman get it. About noon, I decided to swap out the old plate for the new one, on my truck.

The following section contains my postal letter to the Commissioner. I hope that he enjoys it. I expect and require the $35.80 refunded on my American Express card. If not, then I will send a bill to the Commissioner for $35.80. American Express has assured me, however, that the charge should be reversed.

My Letter

December 5, 2022

David Gerregano, Commissioner
Tennessee Department of Revenue
500 Deaderick Street
Nashville, TN 37242

Commissioner Gerregano:

Greetings. I trust that you are well. I write to you directly, to complain and to require a refund.

My complaint is as follows. On Friday, 11/25/2022, I ordered, via American Express, a personalized Appalachian Trail plate, at https://personalizedplates.revenue.tn.gov/#/. The website does not state that the online order takes 30 to 45 days. The bill was $35.80 total.

On Wednesday, 11/30/2022, I searched the website (above), by my receipt number. My personalized plate was approved. I did not know when I could pick up my plate (at a Knox County Clerk office). My call to a Knox County Clerk office informed me that my plate would be ready in 30 to 45 days! I was amazed! My current plate expires on 12/31/2022. From 11/25/2022, 30 days is Christmas (12/25/2022), and 45 days is 1/9/2023.

Later, on 11/30/2022, I reached Jackie, at 888-871-3171. Jackie, very conscientiously, called me back the next day (12/1/2022). Jackie stated that she had emailed the “plate and supply department” on my behalf. Apparently, that mysterious department told Jackie, who told me, that my 11/25/2022 plate order could not be canceled, could not be expedited, would take 30 to 45 days, and could not be refunded. I appreciate Jackie, for being a professional and courteous state employee.

On 12/1/2022, I asked Jackie to inform the mysterious “plate and supply department” that I, verbally, on that date, cancel my 11/25/2022 plate order and require a $35.80 refund to my American Express card. Jackie stated that she would do so. I informed Jackie of my 12/2/2022 action (see next).

On Friday, 12/2/2022, I bought my new Appalachian Trail plate (not personalized, expires 12/31/2023), at a Knox County Clerk office. I, therefore, neither need nor want the plate (ordered on 11/25/2022)!

I require a refund. If the website (listed above) had stated clearly that 30 to 45 days were required to complete an online plate order, then I would not have ordered on 11/25/2022. By standard business practice, I require the Tennessee Department of Revenue to refund $35.80 charged to my American Express card. My 12/1/2022 call to American Express challenged the charge. American Express should force the refund.

Conclusion

I'm just a good ol' (educated and country) boy “fightin' the system like one modern-day Robin Hood” – with apology to the The Dukes of Hazzard (TV series, 1979 - 1985).

Yee haw!

Yes, I hear you. The next time the state changes out the plates, I'll just go get a plate at the County Clerk's office – without personalizing it by an online order. With my personality, why do I need a personalized plate?


Saturday, October 22, 2022

ILLEGAL BORDER CROSSING: Molly is Guilty! (published 10-22-2022; article #367)

Photograph by M. Fearghail, 10/20/2022, 2:33 PM, “Molly in yard TIED - stop invading other yards!”

Introduction


Born free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart
(Source: Born Free Lyrics. (n.d.) Lyrics.com. Retrieved October 21, 2022, from https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/5261251/Andy+Williams/Born+Free.)

The quote is the first line of the well-known song, “Born Free.” Clicking the source link finds the full lyrics and history. “Born Free” was also a very good movie. (Why are few, if any, movies like that anymore?) By the way, I detest “govermint” time! We don't set those clocks back until 11/6/2022!

Yesterday morning – in the darkness of “govermint” time – I was up, to see Mrs. Appalachian Irishman off to work – in the darkness. I started singing loudly my improvised lyrics version of “Born Free!” Thankfully, I was not recorded!

Molly (our ol' puppy) will be seven years young, officially, on Halloween. (See my 6/19/2021 article, on Molly.) Age is not slowing Molly down! This article is on Molly's illegal border crossings. Then, I affirm an argument by analogy on USSA illegal border crossings. The conclusion will encourage Molly and all illegal invaders to stay in their own yards!

Molly's Illegal Border Crossings

About a year ago, the box – that holds the battery, for Molly's “stay in the yard” collar – broke off. Molly had continued to stay in the yard – with no illegal border crossings into neighbors' yards. We'd thought, “Good doggy!” We didn't replace the box or use the “stay in the yard” collar. Molly had known her boundaries!

On Tuesday, 10/18/2022, being retired, I was in my home office. Mid-morning, I saw Molly in the yard of a next door neighbor! She came running to me when I called. I tied Molly to a front porch post, with a long lead line. (The photograph above is Molly, in the front yard, on the lead line. I was in our dining room. To me, the blinds and the window screen make Molly look as if she's in jail!)

Molly seemed to have apologized. I retrained her on the yard boundaries. To be on the safe side, I ordered a new battery box and new batteries, but I trusted Molly again.

The next day, Molly stayed in her boundaries – until mid-morning – when I saw her in the subdivision road! This time, Molly did not come to me, when I called! Instead, she darted into various yards, all the way to the subdivision entrance (to our west). I could not get Molly to come to me. I walked back home. I'd given up. A good neighbor, whom Molly had visited, brought her back home. (Thanks, Chuck!)

On Thursday, I no longer trusted Molly to stay in the yard! She stayed in the basement, until I returned – after my haircut and truck wash. Again, I tied Molly on the lead line to a front porch post. The weather has been sunny and warm enough all week. I walked Molly around our yard, marking the border. We talked. She knew that I still liked her but that I was upset by her illegal border crossings.

Yesterday, the birthday of my youngest brother, the error was mine. The cool morning had kept Molly in her basement condominium. I had planned to bring her upstairs, to hang out in the living room, about mid-morning. I was distracted, by trying to figure out when my Tuesday order (new battery box and new batteries) would arrive.

Molly had decided to visit our neighbor, Chuck, again! He brought Molly back. I apologized to him. It was my fault this time. (Sorry, Chuck!)

At 6:33 PM, my Tuesday order arrived! Molly, as usual, spent the evening on the couch, between Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and me. Before bedtime, I set the battery box and new battery on the “stay in the yard” collar. Molly and I went outside, in the dark, to retrain her on the border.

Today, the good news is that Molly has relearned her boundaries! She stays in the yard. If she tests her borders, then the collar reminds her with a little shock. Molly does not like those little shocks! Molly is now, officially, a “good, ol' puppy” once again!

Illegal Border Crossings

On Wednesday, Molly's illegal border crossings – into neighbors' yards – brought the illegal border crossings – into this once great nation – to my mind. The thought inspired this article.

My 8/5/2022 article linked to my 8/5/2022 podcast – on “Illegal Analogy.” I really don't want to write another article on this subject, but I will. I have to do so. The blind need to see the light. I'll shine the light another time, on this tiring topic.

The various media sources repeat, ad nauseam, on this topic. Early this morning, I happened to notice a TV channel that Mrs. Appalachian Irishman was watching. I don't recall which network. The commentator contrasted the lower number of illegals, who had invaded this nation, during President Trump, to the much higher number, who continue to cross the border illegally, under President Biden.

I will not drone on further. I'm tired of this obviously easy topic. Secure the border! Stop the illegal invasion! The socialists think that they are adding more socialist voters. They continue to transform this once great nation into the Socialist Utopian Oblivion that they desire.

As many of my like-minded readers, I continue to stand. Our property border is secure. No illegals (humans or domestic animals) invade our property. Well, a neighbor's dog visits at times, but she's allowed short visits. Wild animals have no borders. They are “born free” in the wild. Turkeys, deer, rabbits, squirrels, and such visit at times. We don't care for the skunks that visit rarely.

Conclusion

This argument by analogy is concluded. Molly knows her borders again. She won't cross illegally into another neighbor's yard. I stopped Molly's illegal border crossings.

I wish that humans would stop crossing the border illegally into this once great nation. The “powers that be” know how to stop them. They are not ignorant. The “govermint” wants the illegal invasion to continue – at least until election day, on 11/8/2022 – two days after we get off “govermint” time! We'll see what happens.

By the way, today, the Tennessee Vols beat the UT Martin Skyhawks, on homecoming, 65 - 24. (I thought that a Skyhawk was a car that Buick made a few decades ago.) I named the game the “Tennessee football civil war” – Tennessee Knoxville against Tennessee Martin (northwest Tennessee). My Dawgs have an open date today.

My 10/19/2022 article proposed a bet, with my UT Vol readers. I've had no takers yet. I forgot that some UT Vol readers could be ladies, who don't mind wearing pink.


Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Texas Pete is not Made in Texas? Let's Sue Texas Pete! (published 10-11-2022, article #363)

 

Introduction

I often listen to Phil Williams, on The Phil Show, NewsTalk 98.7 FM, while taking my morning constitutional. He shares humorous news stories that I wouldn't hear otherwise. Phil Williams inspired my 9/24/2022 article, on Blue Horse notebook paper. He did it again today – while I was sitting on the throne! (A man has to keep his exhaust system clean.)

Phil Williams informed his audience about a man, who has sued Texas Pete, since the product (the hot sauce that we have in the refrigerator) is made in North Carolina – not Texas. I had to fact-check Phil Williams! “This can't be true,” I thought.

Refrigerator Check

After my morning constitutional, I shared the news with Mrs. Appalachian Irishman, who is on fall break this week and not working. Then, I opened our refrigerator, took out the half full (or empty, if you're a pessimist), six-ounce bottle of Texas Pete Original Hot Sauce. (Sometimes, I add it to scrambled eggs, for weekend breakfasts.) We've been buying Texas Pete for years. I never knew where it was made. I didn't care. I just like it.

Surprise, surprise,” as Gomer Pyle would say! Texas Pete is made in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, by the T.W. Garner Food Company. The label also states: “Garner Foods, est. 1929” and the texaspete.com website. By the way, the Texas Pete label states “glutton free” – as if I care.

I took the above photograph this morning. The Texas Pete bottle was on the corner of the kitchen countertop. Yes, to my Russian readers, we keep a Матрешка on the countertop. It reminds us of Russia (10/1/1994 - 9/30/1999).

Interweb” Check

I decided to search the “Interweb” for “Texas Pete class action lawsuit.” What do you know? Phil Williams hadn't invented the story! It's true, folks! I can't make up this stuff! It really happened!

The Charlotte Observer reported this morning: “Texas Pete hot sauce is ‘deceptive’ because it’s made in North Carolina, lawsuit says,” by Julia Marnin, updated 10/11/2022, 9:44 AM. The first sentence of the article is:

A man bought a bottle of Texas Pete original hot sauce for $3 before discovering it is from North Carolina and not Texas.

The article continues, by stating the man's name. He's from Los Angeles, California (of course). He'd bought a bottle of Texas Pete in 2021. On 9/12/2022, the man sued T.W. Garner Food Company, for false advertising and violation of consumer protection laws. (Why did it take that man about a year to sue?)

The article contains the link to the Texas Pete website, which explains how Texas Pete sauce got its name, in 1929. The factory is in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The corporation is T.W. Garner Food Company, incorporated in 1946. They have 17 products.

My Phil Williams fact-check verifies his statement. It's “just the facts, ma'am” – “believe it or not.”

My Suggestion, in Humor, to Texas Pete

The folks at T.W. Garner Food Company might want to add the following warnings, to their Texas Pete labels (if there's enough room):

– Caution. Sauce is hot. It could burn your mouth.

– Texas Pete sauce is not made in Texas. The cowboy on the label is not intended to deceive.

– Our hot sauce does not contribute to Global Warming. It does not contribute to Greenhouse Gases. It may cause natural emissions after ingestion.

– Our sauce is for human oral consumption, as a flavoring on human food, only. Drinking the sauce is at your own risk. We will not be liable, if your mouth and throat burn, by drinking our sauce. Do not feed our sauce to your pets. Do not inject our sauce into your veins. Do not drip our sauce into your eyes. Do not inhale our sauce into your nose. Do not drip our sauce into your ears. Do not rub our sauce on your body.

– The plastic cap and glass bottle are recyclable. Please recycle.

– Texas Pete is striving to be “carbon neutral.” Please give us time, and don't sue us yet.

By the way, why did the California man, in 2021, pay $3 for a bottle of Texas Pete? The Texas Pete website shows that a three-pack of their six-ounce Original Hot Sauce costs $5.50 (divided by three is $1.83 per bottle). Our local grocery store (website known) sells the same six-ounce bottle for $1.38. Of course, a six-ounce bottle of the sauce probably cost $0.75 or so, before stagflation.

Conclusion

Have you heard the joke, about “everything's big in Texas?” I heard a version of it as a teenager. I've improvised it several times over the decades. Here is my version today:

A man drives to Texas. The highway becomes much wider, as he enters Texas. He stops to buy a drink. He gets out of his truck and uses a ladder to climb up onto the curb – because everything's big in Texas.

He manages to open the large doors and go inside the huge store. A big, friendly Texan picks him up and places him on the stool – because everything's big in Texas. The man's eyes can barely see over the countertop – because everything's big in Texas.

He orders a Coke. He hears “beep, beep,” as a forklift brings his huge Coke to him – because everything's big in Texas. He drinks as much of the Coke as he can.

The man needs to take a leak. He asks, “Where's the nearest bathroom?” He's told to go out the door, turn left, walk two blocks, turn right, and walk two more blocks. Walk to the edge of the pier. The bathroom will be in front of him.

The man starts walking, as instructed. He's trying to hold his bladder. He reaches the edge of the pier. Slipping, he falls into the Gulf of Mexico. He cries out, “Lord, don't flush it!”

I hear some of you laughing! Is a dime-a-dozen, ambulance-chasing lawyer trying make some money off the California man's lawsuit against Texas Pete? I wonder. You know, of course, that 90% of the lawyers give the other 10% a bad name!

Well, I'm off here for now. At least my “bionic whatevers” of last week (my 10/7/2022 article) are back to “bionic normal” today. Heck, my left shoulder and side may have improved -- again – by another setback to go forward.

Thanks for the laugh, this morning, Phil Williams!


Friday, October 07, 2022

“NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED” (published 10-7-2022; article #362)

Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash.

Introduction

No good deed goes unpunished.” You've probably heard or spoken the phrase many times – usually in sarcastic humor. (If you have a “no good deed goes unpunished” story, you are welcome to enter a comment!)

Decades ago, I learned the phrase from a good friend, whom I've known all my life. He likes to use the phrase, at a sarcastic moment, when someone else or he had suffered by doing a good deed.

Well, on 10/5/2022 (Wednesday), I did a good deed. I awakened the next morning, suffering from that good deed. I'll tell you about it. This article starts off funny but ends on a spiritual theme.

The Good Deed

On Wednesday, my wife's good first cousin had his van in the shop. His van was ready. My ol' truck and I took 'cuz Mike to get his van. Afterward, I followed him, as he drove to a nearby Food City, to gas up his van.

By the way, before we left his home for the shop, 'cuz Mike and I had talked briefly about the price of gas going up again. The cost of gas had been going up, but USSA President Biden released the nation's strategic oil reserves – to decrease the “pain at the pump.” Gas prices went down a little – still too high. Recently, however, the cost of gas started rising again – since the strategic oil reserve is half empty.

I will go into a little more detail on that point. My 11/28/2021 article includes the section “USSA First President: Oil Dependence,” in which I had stated some facts. If you're interested, the USSA Energy Department's Strategic Petroleum Reserve (SPR) website has facts and figures. See also, among many articles on the topic, Marketplace, a division of Minnesota Public Radio, “U.S. oil reserve tumbles to lowest level in 4 decades,” by Samantha Fields, 9/22/2022. The article concludes by assuring the reader that, although the SPR is depleted, the “salt caverns are still more than half full.” Well, the SPR gas tank is half full or half empty – depending on how you want to spin the news. The USSA is running half empty, as I see it.

Well, let's get back to the good deed! The day was sunny and pleasant. (We need rain.) I enjoyed helping 'cuz Mike. It was my good deed for the day. I took the photograph, below, after he'd filled up and left for his home.

The Food City gas was lower than other gas stations in the area. Mike and I had noticed the prices, at various stations, on the way to the shop. The photograph is looking southeast. My ol' truck is behind me, not in the image. My timing was off. More vehicles were at the pumps or in line to the pumps a few minutes before I took the photograph.

I had to take the photograph! My sarcastic conversation with myself reminded me of the gas lines, during the Carter administration.

The Punishment

So, how was my good deed punished? I awakened the next morning, wondering why the left side of my back (below and behind my “bionic” left shoulder) was very sore! I'd not lifted anything heavy the day before. I'd just done my routine stretches and exercises. After I'd taken the photograph of the gas station, I'd gone inside the Food City, to buy a few items. My right foot had taken the pounding on the asphalt and tile well enough. (My right foot step may never feel the same as my left foot step – unless it takes a few more years to feel the same.)

Yesterday, Thursday, my chiropractor worked me in, at 12 PM. My ol' truck took me there and back. My chiropractor (Doc. Art) adjusted me and noted the tight and stiff muscles in the left side of my back.

Aside from the good deed that I'd done on Wednesday, I'd not done anything else to “kink up” my muscles! No good deed goes unpunished.

My “no good deed goes unpunished” moment generated some “cussin' and fussin'” yesterday. (My 2/15/2009 article, “Cursing & Praying on a Ridge,” is in my “Articles of Note - A Select Few” section for a reason.) Today, however, I endure – in the everlasting mindset. I'd rather not feel the pain. It will go away. It's my “thorn in the flesh.” I ain't “cussin' and fussin'” today. God forgave me, for my Irish mouth of yesterday.

The Song by Van Morrison, as a Side Note

Today (Friday), the muscle tightness continues. I'm doing my various stretches. I've wrapped the stretchy cloth stuff around my torso (as if I'd cracked a rib). I've used the green tube stuff (BioFreeze) and the blue bottle stuff (of whatever herbs and oils that Mrs. Appalachian Irishman had learned to concoct for me years ago). I took a long, hot shower. I use my “muscle thumper.”

It's another “setback to go forward.” I've had plenty of them. I'm tired of them. Our regular, once every four weeks, chiropractic appointment is next Wednesday (the 12th). Mrs. Appalachian Irishman will be on “fall break” next week, so we'll go together. I figure that I'll be back to my “bionic” normal, by or before next Wednesday. It takes time to unkink kinked muscles.

While “enjoying the pain” early this morning, I searched the “Interweb,” by Norton Safe Search, for “No good deed goes unpunished.” The second search result was the Van Morrison (YouTube channel) song Van Morrison - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (Official Audio). I'd never heard that song. I listened to it. It's good enough to hear once.

By the way, I'm aware of Van Morrison. I've heard his song, “Brown Eyed Girl,” on the radio many times. Today, I learned that his song, “Wild Night,” was released in 1971. I didn't know that “Wild Night,” by John Mellencamp and Meshell Ndegeocello, in 1994, covered Morrison's original. I'd always thought that John Mellencamp wrote that song. Well, you live and learn, even if it is only music trivia.

Spiritual Conclusion

That “no good deed goes unpunished” is a truism – in a sarcastic and humorous sense. The phrase is a way to laugh off life's unfortunate realities. This article is one example. Others abound. Imagine -- as I'm sure that has happened somewhere – that a man stops to help another, whose car has a flat tire. After helping, the man's truck won't start. I'm sure that my readers can regale us by their examples as well! (If you have a “no good deed goes unpunished” story, you are welcome to enter a comment!)

That good is rewarded and bad is punished is truth – in the everlasting sense. The inspired apostle Paul has written:

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV)

Please read chapters four and five, for the complete context. In fact, read all of Second Corinthians! The following are a few more verses from that section, with my comments.

The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (2 Corinthians 4:4, NIV)

That truth, of about 2,000 years ago, remains the same today. Folks need to open their eyes and see the Light.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV)

From the moment of birth, we all start to die. Yes, we grow from birth to adult life. We either wear out or rust out, depending on how active we are. I'm wearing out. My “no good deed goes unpunished” story is an example. I call it “chump change.” By faith, I see what is unseen. I look forward to the eternal weight of glory!

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. (2 Corinthians 5:14-15, NIV)

Doing good deeds only – without salvation in Christ, by a faith response to God's grace – will not save. The saved, however, “work out” their salvation, by God working in them, for “his good purpose.” See the inspired apostle Paul's words in Philippians 2:12-13. Saving, active faith inspires good deeds, which is God's purpose for the saved. Christ's love, in his atoning sacrifice, compels us! We live for Christ – not for ourselves! It's not a chore. Good deeds flow from the saved, naturally, as spring water flows from the mountain. It's refreshing!

What is the conclusion? In Christ, all good deeds done in His service, as inspired by His love for us – are rewarded everlastingly!

Humorous Final Conclusion

What? Another conclusion? Forgive me. I have to write this. It's who I am!

To end on a funny note, after my long, hot shower this morning, I heard a dastardly fly, buzzing in my bathroom. I thought: “What else will aggravate me today?”

Using the trusty flyswatter, I sent that pesky fly to everlasting nothingness. I then thought: “When life swats me to death, I'll go to everlasting life – since I have a soul, made in God's image, unlike that fly, which I'd I just killed.”

Okay, I'm done! Writing this article helped loosen my left shoulder area. I'll keep swatting the pesky flies of life, until life swats me and sends me Home. I'm ready to go!