Translations

Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Hilary Catastrophic Disaster: Clickbait Warning! (published 8-20-2023; article #427)

6/23/2020 photograph, by Anne Nygård, on Unsplash. Free to use under the Unsplash License.

Introduction

The title warned you! Did you click anyhow? Apparently so, since you are reading this sentence. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “clickbait” as something (such as a headline) designed to make readers want to click on a hyperlink, especially when the link leads to content of dubious value or interest.”

Don't worry! This article contains no malware or malicious intent. The title is clickbait, in that it may be of “dubious value or interest,” unless you share my sense of humor! Welcome to the 107th article on the topic of “Humor,” dear reader!

Recent television news is responsible for this article. Some news captions brought out my sense of humor!

Hilary

Recently, news segments, on various television stations, were captioned along the lines of the two website articles, below, which I have selected for this commentary. I couldn't find the website versions of the televised segments that I saw.

The first is “Flooding disaster threatens Southern California as Hilary takes aim” (on AccuWeather, by Alex Sosnowski, senior meteorologist, published 8/16/2023, updated 8/20/2023). Hilary aims to cause disastrous floods in Southern California? I wish that Hilary wouldn't do that. Why would she want to do so? Thankfully, we don't live in that neck of the woods. I hope that no one is injured or killed.

The other is “Hilary expected to bring catastrophic, life-threatening flooding to US Southwest” (on ABC News, by Nadine El-Bawab, Kenton Gewecke, Dan Peck, and Meredith Deliso, 8/19/2023). Again, why does Hilary want to threaten the southwest, with catastrophic and life-threatening floods? What did that area, of this once great nation, ever do to her, to deserve her anger? I hope that Hilary doesn't injure or take life.

Did the writers and editors of those two columns, among others, forget to add a word to the titles? By not adding “hurricane” to those titles, this Appalachian Irishman's sense of humor was sparked!

Hillary

Y'all may remember the former first lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton. She still makes the rounds, on certain media outlets.

As well as I can tell, she has online platforms, on at least a couple of websites: The Office of Hillary Rodham Clinton and Onward Together. Listing those websites does not connote agreement with their content.

To converse with the former first lady -- twelve years older than me and far more well known than I am -- on the topic of worldviews, would be interesting. She could define and present arguments in favor of her worldview. We might have some general points of agreement, as most folks do. I would have to ask questions, to unpack the shaded layers of her insinuations. She could ask me questions. I would use sound and valid logic, to disagree with her overarching worldview and to affirm the biblical worldview. Yes, it would be interesting.

Conclusion

I disdain clickbait, which is on so many websites. This 427th article is my first and only use of clickbait. I apologize. I won't do it again.

The clickbait is that there is only one “l' in Hilary, the name of the current hurricane. There are two “l”s in Hillary, the first name of the former first lady.

This article hopes that, in God's providence, hurricane Hilary causes no deaths or serious injuries. Some property damage may occur.

This article also encourages the former first lady, Hillary, not to cause further catastrophic disasters, to this once great nation. It asks her to please follow the biblical worldview, in its entirety, without twisting certain aspects of it into her unbiblical agenda. I can unpack this concluding paragraph, if any commentator wishes to ask me to do so.

Monday, August 07, 2023

Two-Year-Old Birthday [Cake] Pie (published 8-7-2023; article #424)

Introduction

Whew! The manuscript that published on 8/5/2023 -- about our family reunion in Charleston, Missouri, and our Mission Moscow reunion -- took a long time to finish writing! Two articles, which have been on my mind, had to wait. This is the first article that was waiting its turn.

Can a man eat a two-year-old birthday cake pie? This article proves that he can -- without becoming ill or dying! The proof is in the embedded podcast and in the fact that I'm still alive, to publish this article.

The article also mentions Mrs. Appalachian Irishman's age xx birthday. I apologize, dear reader. My wife has edited in the “xx” strike-throughs on her age. Despite being the publisher and editor of this website, I could not stop or remove her redaction!

I hope that you enjoy this brief article. By topic sections, it's the 116th under “Family” and the 106th under “Humor.”

I Ate the Cake Pie!

Let him eat cake! No, I mean pie!

The article of 11/26/2021 has a section titled, “My 7/17/2021 Birthday Pie,” which includes a photograph of the pie, taken on that date. I need to go back and read what I've written more often!

This article today, on 8/7/2023, corrects my podcast, of 7/26/2023, in that it was a two-year-old pie, not three years old! I won't change the title of that podcast, but I will enter a comment, to correct the year! A writer must correct his errors! I'd been thinking incorrectly -- until I reread the 11/26/2021 article yesterday -- that the pie was three years old. No one, except the Good Lord, is perfect. I, however, disdain my mistakes, especially when speaking publicly or in a published article.

Also, this article has been striking through “Cake,” in red font, since, for some strange reason, I kept wanting to say “cake” -- instead of “pie” -- in the podcast. Yes, I hear you, dear reader. You are saying, “Let's see what's left of that two-year-old pie and watch you eat it!”

Photograph by M. Fearghail, on Monday, 7/17/2023, at 12:49 PM, before finishing his two-year-old birthday pie.

As the caption below the photograph explains, I photographed my birthday pie, placed on a corner of our kitchen cabinet top, before I ate the last two pieces. It was on my 63rd birthday, on Monday, 7/17/2023.

The Appalachian Irishman - Podcasts (on YouTube) episode is: Eating the Last Two Slices of Birthday Pie, Made Three Years Ago! (published 7-26-2023; episode 16). Again, it was a pie, not cake, and two, not three, years old, y'all!

Yes, well, I have to interject a little humor into “life, such as it is!” The second part of the podcast should refute any detractors! I ate all two slices of the pie. You have my word on it. It didn't kill me. I didn't even get sick. A lemon pie, stored in a freezer for two years, is as good as it was when it was made! Will Mom laugh about this, once I tell her? I imagine that she will. I look forward to telling her!

Mrs. Appalachian Irishman's Age XX Birthday

The day after I attained the young age of 63, Mrs. Appalachian attained the landmark age of xx. (There she goes, editing my article behind my back again!)

For several days, I'd been asking my wife what she wanted to do on her birthday. She decided that we should have a dinner date at the Texas Roadhouse. (Yankees call the noon meal lunch.) I should have taken a photograph or two of my young and lovely bride!

We enjoyed out dinner date, despite the rather loud “country music” videos that were blaring. “Country music” is in quotations for a reason. What we heard did not sound like the classic country music that we both like. In almost every video, dudes and dudettes wore cowboy hats. Almost every song sounded like the last one. This “rap-a-country-billy-rock” stuff ain't country! Real country music was by, among others, the Carter Family, Johnny and June Carter Cash, Loretta Lynn, Hank Williams, Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Bill Monroe, Merle Haggard, Charley Pride, Conway Twitty, Glen Campbell, George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Reba McEntire, and John Denver -- just to name a few. That list isn't ranked by preference. Those true classic country artists simply came to my mind. Well, enough of this soapbox!

After our dinner date, we visited with her father and sister, who live about three miles away. They didn't give my wife too much grief, about attaining her milestone age. After we returned home, the surprise calls and emails began! (I'd stealthily arranged phone call and email surprises, for Mrs Appalachian Irishman!) My wife was pleasantly surprised by, among others, calls from my sister, Carol Sue, and our great niece, Addy. Travis and Kelly called, and we reconnected further. An email came in from Kilimanjaro Missions, in Tanzania, East Africa! Jessica, the adult daughter of Joe Paul and Lynn, and her family are missionaries there! Y'all will enjoy reading their June 2023 Kilimanjaro Missions newsletter. (Each of these fine folks were mentioned in the short story of 8/5/2023.)

See, dear, turning age xx wasn't so bad after all, was it? (I can't get her to stop striking through her age, folks!)

Conclusion

I hope that y'all enjoyed a laugh and a smile or two, while reading this article. As we age, we reflect on life -- the good and the bad. Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I have had our share. Haven't we all? I reckon that I picked a good wife, who puts up with me. Thanks, dear, for living the good and bad in life, by my side. I think that I'll keep you.

Well, I'll get off here for now. Those weather prognosticators predicted that we could all die or face serious harm, by that little pop up storm that is waning, as I finish this article. Come on, weather folks! Quit trying to scare people, just to boost your ratings!

The next article, Lord willing, will be about a visit by a first cousin of mine.

Tuesday, August 01, 2023

UFO or UAP? What's the Difference? Who Cares? (published 8-1-2023; article #422)

“A frisbee flying through the air with a blue sky in the background: Flying UFO in the blue sky,” photo by Gianluca Carenza, on Unsplash, 2/22/2022. Free to use under the Unsplash License.

Introduction

Rest assured, dear reader. Neither this Appalachian Irishman nor his wife (the “long-suffering” Mrs. Appalachian Irishman) has been abducted by aliens! Only one article published last month, on 7/5/2023. Usually, six or so articles are published each month.

You ask, “What's been going on?” Well, I'll tell you. We enjoyed a family reunion, in Charleston, Missouri! We were in Missouri, from 7/11-14/2023, Tuesday to Friday. On the Friday of our our return to Tennessee, a family -- with whom we served, on the Mission Moscow team -- and we had a reunion! We met in Lebanon, Tennessee. I've been working, on and off, on an article about those reunions. It will be a long article. Otherwise, aside from the usual “life, such as it is,” stuff, we had birthdays. I attained age 63. The next day, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman attained the landmark age of <deleted by Mrs. Appalachian Irishman>. I plan to publish an article, about our birthdays. The article will include, on Appalachian Irishman - podcasts, the episode: “Eating the Last Two Slices of Birthday Pie, Made Three Years Ago! (published 7-26-2023; episode 16).” This article presents that sneak preview! On Monday, 7/24/2023, a first cousin, whom I'd not seen, since 2012, drove down from Kingsport, to visit a grade school friend. Afterward, he visited and had supper with us! We had a fine time together! I plan to publish an article, about his visit.

Now, let's return to the topic of this article. Are they called UFOs or UAPs? What's the difference? Who cares? This is the 105th article, on this website's “Humor” topic section. I hope that you enjoy a good laugh. The motivation for this article is the “August Newsletter Update” that US Representative Tim Burchett sent by email this morning. The first topic, in “Tim's Top Three,” for July 2023, is on his involvement in the “UAP Hearing,” in the Committee on Oversight and Accountability. (If you want to be bored, see the rather wordily titled article: “Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena: Implications on National Security, Public Safety, and Government Transparency,” on Committee on Oversight and Accountability, 7/26/2023.) At least the 24/7/365 news media are adding this topic to their ad nauseam dribble, about either the Bidens or Trump.

UFO or UAP? What's the Difference?

They had been called UFOs -- unidentified flying objects! Apparently, the Air Force coined that acronym, in 1952, five years after a pilot reported unidentified flying objects, in June 1947.

My research indicates that, in 2021, federal “guvrmint” agencies started using the acronym UAPs, instead of UFOs. The bureaucrats wanted to down play various UFO conspiracies, which are “out there,” and to remove the “baggage” that the UFO acronym carries.

The “guvrmint” likes to rename things, use euphemisms, and create strange acronyms. For example, I've know, for decades, that soldiers carry “entrenching tools,” not “shovels.” Don't call them “shovels,” unless you want to use an “entrenching tool,” to dig a deep hole and then cover it back up! I've heard the stories. Also, the bureaucrats prefer to call a “tax increase” an “investment” -- which is a euphemism for a tax increase or for borrowing and printing more Monopoly money, so that future generations will pay the bill. Finally, when I worked for the state, I enjoyed making fun of their acronym PUN (for Process Update Notification). It's not just a memo. It's a PUN! Well, that was always punny to me! Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines “punny,” as “constituting or involving a pun.” I can't make up this stuff, folks!

So, the “guvrmint” now says that UFOs (unidentified flying objects) are UAPs (unidentified anomalous phenomena). What's the difference? There is none. Just ask the next little, green man, whom you meet. Why didn't the bureaucrats figure out, ahead of time, that some sarcastically humored person would ask, “Doesn't UAP sound too much like 'you ape'?” Well, I just did!

Who Cares?

Let's see a show of hands. How many care that a UFO is now a UAP? I don't see any hands raised. Who cares about the acronym change or about little, green men, from outer space?

Why your “guvrmint” cares! A Representative from Tennessee, Tim Burchett, cares, apparently. Aside from my previous reference to his email, you might find interesting: “Tim Burchett: Americans should know what the government knows about UFOs,” on Politico, by Andrew Zhang, 07/22/2023.

Conclusion

This article pokes a little fun at Tim Burchett. I do not doubt his conservative positions. I know that he is trying his best to slow down, at least, the downward spiral of this once great nation, into “Socialist Utopian Oblivion,” as I call it. Tim is a good man and a fine representative. “Hey, Tim, you are welcome to comment on this article, if you read it.”

For the life of me, I don't know or care why the “guvrmint” is interested in little, green men, from outer space. Knock. Knock.

Hey, anyone in 'guvrmint' listening? If so, please act like you have some common sense! Please follow the values, as set forth in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution! Those values are based on biblical values. Do you need more guidance? If so, then please use my “Contact Form,” to send me a private and confidential email. I will help you, with no charge. My help will be free. That means free. That does not mean “free,” in that tax dollars are used to give folks stuff.

Wake up, America! The Appalachian Irishman has spoken.

Monday, June 05, 2023

Alien News Desk: Reaction to the 6-1-2023 Report by Phobos and Deimos (published 6-5-2023; article #417)

2/20/2020 photo, by Brooke Denevan on Unsplash. Free to use under the Unsplash License.

Introduction

Imagine, in the above image, that Phobos is driving, Deimos is sitting behind him, and their camera man is also in the back seat. Don't worry. I'll explain!

Welcome to this thirteenth article in the “Worldviews in Conflict” topic section, dear reader! It's also the 105th entry under the “Humor” topic.

This article, combining humor with solemnness, presents the 6/1/2023 “Alien Newscast,” by Phobos and Deimos. Then, it elaborates on the alien worldview. The conclusion encourages those, who follow the alien worldview, to follow the biblical worldview.

As an aside, I didn't know, until deciding on the title for this article, that “Alien News Desk” was a twelve-part, animated series! I came across “Alien News Desk,” on SYFY Media, LLC. It is described as “. . . a weekly, half-hour topical animated series set in an extraterrestrial newsroom. . . . [T]he 12-episode series will cover up-to-the-minute news and commentary about the universe’s most baffling species - the inscrutable Humans of Planet Earth.” The series aired from 2/27/2019 to 5/4/2019.

Well, hang on! This “space trip” starts off funny, but it ends on a sobering note. Please enjoy the ride. Thank you for riding along with me, dear reader.

The “Alien Newscast,” of 6/1/2023, and My Reaction

Brother Jim Richardson's website, From My Brain to Yours, is one of the four listed, under the “Folks, to Whom I Subscribe” section of this website. The 10/28/2022 introductory article, to the ongoing Christian Evidences series, referenced two articles by Jim Richardson that had inspired the series.

Well, brother Jim's article of 6/1/2023 has inspired this article! Please pause, to read his article: “Alien Newscast: Aliens reporting on Earthly events this week (not so fake news),” on From My Brain to Yours, by Jim Richardson, 6/1/2023. (You can click “continue reading,” to read his article, without cost and without the need to create an account.)

Writing as Deimos and Phobos -- the names of the two Martian moons -- Jim comments on six recent events, which include: (1) Canada wants to label each individual cigarette, in a pack, with warnings! Cigarette packs already have warnings. Amazing! (2) Four young Connecticut women are suing, since men, who think that they are women, beat them in track races. Insanity! (3) A mayor in a New Hampshire town is using federal “Monopoly money,” to pay a drag queen, to perform at a high school! Sickening! (4) Artificial Intelligence (AI) may kill us humans. Really? (5) Old predictions of global disasters, due to so-called man-made climate change, were fake news and didn't come true. Of course they didn't! (6) A twenty-two page article, filled with scientific mumbo-jumbo, warns folks, who took the new cold virus injection (or series of injections, with booster injections), that their health could be in danger. I'm glad that I never took a “Corony” shot! I'm not worried!

Jim's sarcastic article is very funny! It ends, however, with a sobering theme. Writing in the third person, as alien newscasters, Jim exposes, masterfully, the inscrutable and alien human worldviews of the majority. I hope that his article forces the majority to view themselves from a different perspective, as they think outside themselves.

On Friday, 6/2/2023, my comment on Jim's article included, in part:

. . . I had to comment on this one! It's loaded with my style of sarcastic humor and imagination!

I did a little digging. Deimos and Phobos are the two moons of Mars. It's funny that I'd not known, unless I'd heard and forgotten, that Mars has moons. Deimos (from Greek, Δειμος) means “dread-fear, terror,” and Phobos (from Greek, Φοβος) means “panic-fear, rout.”

If ungodly earthlings could just see what they are doing, from an off-world view, then they might just realize how much dreadful panic that they are causing, by following their unbiblical worldviews. God, of course, sees all this much better, in a far more universal view, than Deimos and Phobos see it.

By the way, ask Deimos and Phobos if they could come on down here, to see if they can broadcast globally, to all ungodly earthlings! Those earthlings are not listening to godly earthlings or to God!

I had also asked Jim's permission to reference his article, in a future article that I'd planned to write. Graciously, he agreed. Thanks, brother Jim, for inspiring this article!

The Alien Worldview

The sarcastic and humorous purpose, as cited previously, of “Alien News Desk” (the SYFY animated series of 2019) was to report on “the universe’s most baffling species - the inscrutable Humans of Planet Earth.” Inscrutable is a good way to describe the alien worldviews of the majority of humans on this planet! Inscrutable means not easily understood.

Local, national, international, and, apparently, even extraterrestrial media are the daily, ad nauseam, sources of too many instances of “alien worldviews gone wild!” It's sickening, of course.

This article cites only one recent bilge, in my home state of Tennessee. The following is one, of several, articles that has the alien worldview news. The article is: “Federal judge tosses Tennessee's controversial anti-drag law, declares it unconstitutional,” on Memphis Commercial Appeal, by Micaela A Watts, 6/3/2023. (Content warning! The article includes a photograph of so-called “drag queens.”) Apparently, just after 12 AM, on Friday, 6/2/2023, Judge Thomas L. Parker (United States District Court for the Western District of Tennessee) ruled, in a lawsuit filed by an ungodly and so-called non-profit organization, that "the Court finds that -- despite Tennessee’s compelling interest in protecting the psychological and physical wellbeing of children -- the Adult Entertainment Act ('AEA') is an UNCONSTITUTIONAL (sic) restriction on the freedom of speech." The ruling, apparently, affects only Shelby County.

The bill, which Tennessee Governor Bill Lee signed into law, on 3/2/2023, is “SB0003, HB0009,” on Tennessee General Assembly. The “Bill History” tab lists the chronological history of the bill, which Governor Lee signed into law. The “Summary” tab states, at first:

This bill creates an offense for a person who engages in an adult cabaret performance on public property or in a location where the adult cabaret performance could be viewed by a person who is not an adult. The bill defines an "adult cabaret performance" to mean a performance in a location other than an adult cabaret that features topless dancers, go-go dancers, exotic dancers, strippers, male or female impersonators who provide entertainment that appeals to a prurient interest, or similar entertainers, regardless of whether or not performed for consideration.

Why the State of Tennessee even had to create such a law, only to have it stuck down, in Shelby County, is beyond my understanding. Common decency dictates that folks, especially young people, should not even go near such alien lifestyles.

For previous comments on this ungodly and alien worldview, see my 6/26/2022 article, under the “LGBTQ Pride Month” section. See also my 2/26/2023 article, “'Knox Pride' versus God's Pride.” Over 92% of the American population is heterosexual, as various recent studies show. (See, for example, “U.S. LGBT Identification Steady at 7.2%,” on Gallup, by Jeffrey M. Jones, 2/22/2023.) Once again, this month, biblical morality endures the ungodly and alien morality of the euphemistically named “Pride Month.” Don't worry. Mrs. Appalachian Irishman or I change channels or turn off the TV, when the media propagandizes the events. When that alien minority attempts to force my acceptance of their ungodly lifestyle, I stand, firmly on the solid rock, such as in this article, to affirm the biblical worldview!

Returning to the main point, however, what are these alien worldviews? Atheism, humanism, naturalism, socialism, environmentalism -- and all such “isms” -- are aspects on only one alien worldview. It is the ungodly worldview. Don't let all the various “isms” confuse you! They all march downhill, along the wrong path!

Conclusion

Jim's article, as cited previously, ends with the same verse, which begins this conclusion.

Folly brings joy to one who has no sense, but whoever has understanding keeps a straight course. (Proverbs 15:21, NIV)

The inspired wisdom of Solomon also stated: “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12, NIV).

The “Alien Newscast,” by Deimos and Phobos, presents the inscrutable nonsense of ungodly, human worldviews that lead to spiritual death. God, viewing this planet from His lofty location, sees the same ungodliness.

In His Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapters 5 - 7), Jesus encourages:

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. (Mt. 7:13-14, NIV)

In the words of this educated country boy, Jesus wants us “to turn right and go straight.” Why? The “ultimate acknowledgment of truth,” as I call it, is coming.

The atheist (who worships himself), the humanist (who worships humankind), the naturalist (who worships nature), the socialist (who worships his socio-economic system), and the environmentalist (who worships the environment, in contrast to the conservationist, who cares for the environment but worships God) will each face the “ultimate acknowledgment of truth.” Then, however, it will be too late to change their ungodly worldviews.

What is that ultimate acknowledgment of truth? The inspired apostle Paul described it, in his first century letter to the Corinthian church.

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV)

See also the apostle Paul's words, in Romans 14:10-12, and Jesus' words, in Matthew 25:31-46. At the last judgment, the atheist has to acknowledge that God exists, as the ultimate acknowledgment of truth, but it will be too late.

True wisdom is to know and believe in Jesus, as the one true Son, of the one true God, as revealed in His inspired Bible. To believe is to follow His worldview.

I trust, dear reader, that you are already following the Lord. If you are not, but would like to, you are welcome to use the “Contact Form,” if you would like to converse. I'm just one formerly poor beggar, still imperfect, who found the Bread of Life. I'll be glad to share.

To any reader who considers this article to be “hate speech,” it is not. This article is written in loving and biblical guidance, to any reader, who follows alien worldviews. To those readers, please turn right and go straight, before it's too late! Judgment day, the ultimate acknowledgment of truth, is coming.

Saturday, June 03, 2023

2006 Nissan Frontier: New Starter Cost -- plus $2.01 for a bottle of water (published 6-3-2023; article #416)

 Photograph by M. Fearghail, 5/30/2023, Tuesday, 1:17 PM

Introduction

Greetings, on this third day of meteorological summer, y'all! The introduction to the article of 5/27/2023 began with the following sidenote.

. . . Friday, 5/26/2023, my '06 Frontier and I hauled trash, bought Molly (our ol' puppy) edibles at the Tractor Supply, got gas, and bought groceries at the local store. With groceries in the truck bed, warming in the sun, my ol' truck would not crank! A good Samaritan, in a black Dodge Ram, and I tried to jump start my truck. The battery was fine. The good Samaritan brought the melting groceries and me to the house. Thanks, good Samaritan! The local towing service hauled my ol' truck back to the barn. The repair saga continues next Tuesday. The plan is to tow my truck to the fix-him-up shop. I'd say that he needs a new starter. Stay tuned!

This article is the “stay tuned” follow up to that sidenote -- and what a follow up it was! First, this article summarizes the new starter saga -- and the cost. Then, the reason why the above photograph is in this article will be explained. The conclusion will confirm, well, that “a dollar ain't worth much nowadays, boys” (as Dad said for many years). It will also educate folks, who need it, as to what true customer service is all about. I hope that Rusty Wallace Nissan is listening!

I hope that this 104th article on humor will draw a comment or two, give you a good laugh, or at least grant you a polite chuckle! Thanks for stopping by, to read a while, dear reader.

The New Starter Saga

The introduction mentioned how the saga started. The tow cost $100 cash. That Friday, I called Rusty Wallace Nissan and set a repair appointment for Tuesday, at 8:30 AM -- with the assumption that the repair would be that day or the next, depending on if they had a new starter in stock. The breakdown had to be on the Friday, before the long Memorial Day weekend. On Monday, good folks, in this once great nation, paused to honor those, who fought and died for our freedom. Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I enjoyed a family gathering, with her folks, on Memorial Day.

The next day, Tuesday, 5/30/2023, the same local towing service hauled, at another $100 cash, my '06 Frontier and me, to Rusty Wallace Nissan, about fourteen miles away, for the appointment that I'd scheduled the Friday before. As I'd predicted, my ol' truck needed a new starter. Of course, the shop didn't have one in stock, as I'd suspected. The polite service department lady estimated that -- in hope -- the new starter would arrive the next day, be installed, and my truck would be ready for pick up. I walked to the business next door, Enterprise, and rented a 2022 Toyota Corolla. My purchase of a $2.01 bottle of water, including tax, was on the way to the monthly chiropractor appointment, in the rental.

The next day, Wednesday, was day two of the starter saga. After a couple of phone conversations with the polite service department lady, I had assumed that my truck would be ready late that afternoon. The new starter was in. It's a two-hour job. The rental got me to Rusty Wallace Nissan, about 4:30 PM. The polite lady in the service department, ironically, had left voicemail on my cell phone, at 4:27 PM. I saw my truck, at least. He was still waiting his turn! Amazing! Apparently, the technician that had diagnosed the bad starter, the day before, had to do the work. He was busy on a transmission, for another vehicle. What? Can't someone else replace the starter? The wasted trip was my “shame on me,” for assuming that the service would be done promptly.

Thursday was day three of the starter saga. Mrs. Appalachian Irishman drove the rental to and from her last day of work, before summer break. It was a half day, and I didn't expect a call, to say that my truck was ready, until late in the afternoon. With no call from Rusty Wallace Nissan yet, I called the polite service department lady, about 5:10 PM. Well, she really hoped that my truck would be ready the next day! The technician assigned to service my truck was still elbow deep in the transmission, for another vehicle. Again, what? Can't someone else replace the starter?

Yesterday, Friday, was day four of the starter saga. Mrs. Appalachian Irishman answered the polite service lady's call, at 10:48 AM. (I'd predicted that she would call, while I was in the outhouse.) My truck was ready! So, I returned the rental to Enterprise ($220.97 total cost). Then, I walked next door to Rusty Wallace Nissan, to get my truck. The polite service department lady was at lunch. The General Manager was also at lunch. I really wanted to speak with the General Manager. “Go straight to the top” is my motto.

The service department manager -- with whom I'd wanted to speak, since the General Manager was out -- handled my payment. Please notice that I am not calling the service department manager a “polite lady,” as I've called the polite service department lady.

Taking three full days (Tuesday morning to Friday morning) to replace one started was too long! It's a two-hour job! I expressed that thought -- politely -- to the service department manager, hoping for her apology and assurances. If our roles were reversed, I would have been far more cordial, polite, and understanding -- with assurances that Rusty Wallace Nissan was working to improve service timeliness and customer satisfaction. After all, the “Service & Parts” section on Rusty Wallace Nissan states, rather excitedly, in part:

We know how difficult it can be to try and go about your day without your usual mode of transportation. . . . [O]ur team can work efficiently to get your vehicle out of our shop and back on the road.

Notice the word “efficiently,” in the above quotation. The service department manager, however, took a rather combative stand. She kept emphasizing that all repair shops, not just that one, were backlogged, causing repairs that should take a day to take several days. It's, apparently, the “new normal.” The unpleasant service department manager needs to improve her style of so-called “customer service!”

Despite the service department manager's combative style of “customer service,” I still thanked her, since my truck had a new starter -- finally. In common sense, I suggested to her that, when a person calls, to set a service appointment, and if the shop can't get to it for a few days, then set the appointment a few days out! Please! My truck could have rested in the “barn” (i.e., garage) at the house, instead of “basking in the sun” in a parking lot, at Rusty Wallace Nissan, awaiting his turn.

Let's see what this starter saga cost in total! Calculators ready? Let's punch buttons! The two tows cost $200 total. Rusty Wallace Nissan's total cost was $1,218.10. (That was for all labor, supplies, sales tax, the new starter, an oil change, and a tire rotation. I'd asked for the oil change and tire rotation. With labor and parts, the starter cost $1,079.26 -- if you can believe it.) The Enterprise rental car total cost was $220.97. Did you get $1,639.07 total? That's what I got. I guess that Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I will eat soup beans and “taters” a while.

$2.01 for a Bottle of Water

You ask, “What do the high-dollar costs of the tows, the rental, and the new starter have to do with the price of a water bottle?” Well, I'll answer, from the “for what it's worth” department.

As I'd stated before, on Tuesday, while going to my monthly chiropractic appointment, in the rental, I stopped at a Shell station, to buy a bottle of water. (Yes, I know. I should have carried a bottle of filtered tap water from home.)

Of the numerous selections, I picked “Niagara: Natural Spring Water.” It's a 16.9-ounce bottle of spring water. The company is Niagara Bottling, LLC, in Diamond Bar, California. The water comes from “protected springs” in either Roaring Gap, North Carolina, or Blue Ridge, Georgia. Well, that was good. (Yes, I read labels.)

The price, without tax, for that bottled spring water was $1.84. (It was the least expensive option.) Adding the sales tax, the cashier rang up $2.01! (Yes, I should have asked for a cup of ice! It may have cost only a dollar.) I had three one-dollar bills and no change. I asked if the cashier had a penny, and she did. So, thanking her, I walked out with my bottle of water. It tasted like spring water.

The cashier, a bit older than me, had started the conversation, as I was buying that high-dollar bottle of spring water. She complained about the outrageous cost of that bottled water, and she bemoaned the future of this once great nation, with concern for her children and grandchildren. The cost of everything is outrageous, as we both agreed. Growing up, store-bought bottled water didn't exist! We had spring water and well water. Once I started driving, I filled an empty soda bottle with tap water and carried it with me.

My final comment to the cashier was, “Well, a dollar ain't worth much nowadays.” She understood and smiled. I think that Dad must have laughed.

Conclusion

First, yes, Dad (Earl Ferrell, 9/17/1927 - 1/25/2008) was right: “a dollar ain't worth much nowadays!” It's worth way less now than when he was still living. The inflationary rush toward “Socialist Utopian Oblivion,” in this once great nation, is “progressing” rather quickly.

Viewer analytics for this website indicate that at least three of my seven articles on inflation are viewed almost daily -- despite the few comments that they are drawing. Those articles are:

An Invitation to the First President of the USSA to “Show Me the Money” Tree (published 5-22-2021)

President Biden's Reply to My Letter – Over a Year Late (published 7-27-2022; article #341)

Raise the Debt Ceiling, Increase Income, or Lower Spending? (published 1-23-2023; article #386)

The recent raise the debt ceiling ruckus, at the federal level, has convinced me, once again, that the majority know that “the house is full of garbage spending.” Instead of “hauling off some garbage spending,” they want to “raise the roof, to add more garbage debt.”

Finally, on true customer support, the two ladies at Enterprise were both excellent -- at the Tuesday rental and Friday return. They were professional, personable, very polite, and understanding -- especially when the rental required three days, not just one. When we need or wish to rent another vehicle, then they will have our return business!

Rusty Wallace Nissan, however, is a different story. The polite service department lady was doing her best, to ensure that my truck was serviced as quickly as possible. She was friendly, polite, and understanding. She admitted that Rusty Wallace needed to improve its “efficiency” and speed of service.

The service department manager, however, needs to improve her attitude. Her combative style was coming from her personality. You can't train true customer service into a person, who has a combative, defensive, and negative personality -- as she does.

Early next week, I plan, Lord willing, to communicate with the General Manager of Rusty Wallace Nissan. The content of this article will be explained. I will suggest highly that the business become “efficient” in the service department, as their website says that it is. I will also suggest that the service department manager receive remedial training, to understand true customer service. Rusty Wallace Nissan will no longer get my return business.

Well, I'm done with this little “life, such as it was,” article. Yes, the new starter saga was aggravating, but it's over! It's even a little funny today. Life has its “good, bad, and ugly,” with apology to Clint Eastwood. The temporal aggravation, involving the delays and the cost for the new starter, are behind me. What's coming up next? Will it be good? I hope so. Eventually, everlasting life at Home will be perfectly wonderful. Once I join Dad, and so many others, at Home, I wonder if he will laugh, when I tell him about this little temporal triviality? I figure that he will.


Friday, May 12, 2023

Bing Chat on the Existence of God (published 5-12-2023; article #412)

7/16/2018 image, by Possessed Photography on Unsplash. Free to use under the Unsplash License.

Introduction

Hello, dear reader, and welcome to the 103rd article on humor! A few days ago, I noticed a new tab, while using the taskbar search, on the computer. I was trying to find a saved document. As I started to type, the new tab appeared!

Yesterday, after another Best Clips haircut, truck wash at Synergy Auto Wash, and shopping at Ace Hardware, I decided to investigate that new tab.

I convinced Bing Chat that faith is based on logical reasoning and that it is not irrational! The following explains how the conversation started and then shares the conversation. I hope that you enjoy my experience in Bing Chat chatter!

How the Conversation Started

The search tab is called Chat. By hovering the mouse, the option to Open Bing Chat in Microsoft Edge appears.

I opened Microsoft's “Bing Chat in (Microsoft) Edge.” An example of how Bing Chat answers a dinner party question appeared. The top of the web page warns, “Chat mode is only available when you have access to the new Bing.” Don't worry! The lower part of the web page proclaims, “Welcome to the new Bing!” The buttons are “Chat now” and “Learn more.”

Ever curious, I clicked “Learn More.” That web page is all excited about and has several details for “Bing's AI-powered Image Creator.” The page includes another and different “Learn More” link. The heading for that link is “Announcing the next wave of AI innovation with Microsoft Bing and Edge.” Microsoft seems to be so excited.

Scrolling down through “the next wave of AI innovation” jargon, I found “Create and compose: Sometimes you need more than an answer -- you need inspiration. Whether you're writing an email, bedtime story or meal plan, there's no need to fear getting started. You provide your ideas. Bing comes back with drafts to consider.” Bing can write draft articles? Amazing! How many lazy writers are using Bing already? Who knows! Clicking “See an example” opens Bing's story for children about a dog on the moon. You can even watch Bing write its article! I wonder, again, how many writers plagiarize Bing's writing? Not this writer – ever!

Bing looks like a rather interesting and new computer software toy. Many folks are already too mentally lazy as it is. Imagine a slothful student, who presents a Bing article on the subject that the teacher had assigned the class. The teacher has to figure out if the student actually composed the article or if Bing did it. Don't teachers have enough problems already? Talk about dumbing down America! Bing, or artificial intelligence, is a way to do it!

Conversation with Bing

I decided to ask Bing to “write an article that proves that God does not exist.” Bing replied:

I’m sorry, but I cannot write an article that proves that God does not exist. The existence of God is a matter of personal belief and faith, and it is not something that can be proven or disproven through scientific or logical means. Is there anything else I can help you with?

I must critique Bing's grammatical errors! First, Bing should have used “proved” or “disproved,” not the adjectives “proven” and “disproven.” Also, Bing should not have ended the final sentence, a question, with a dangling preposition.

I replied to Bing with the following. “Prove that the existence of God cannot be proved by logical means.” Bing's reply was:

The existence of God is a matter of personal belief and faith, and it is not something that can be proven or disproven through scientific or logical means. Many arguments for and against the existence of God have been proposed by philosophers, theologians, and scientists throughout history. However, these arguments are often based on assumptions and premises that are themselves not provable through logical means. As such, the question of whether or not God exists remains a matter of personal belief and faith. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Ignoring, once again, Bing's poor grammar, it became obvious that Bing is guilty of circular reasoning. Bing states that the existence of God cannot be proved or disproved by logical means, since the existence of God cannot be proved or disproved by logical means. Bing, I see you spinning around in a circle inside the computer!

I attempted to educate Bing in logic by replying as follows. “Prove that the arguments for and against the existence of God are based on assumptions and premises that are not provable through logical means.” The following is Bing's reply (with Bing's footnoted sources included).

Many arguments for and against the existence of God have been proposed by philosophers, theologians, and scientists throughout history. These arguments can be categorized as logical, empirical, metaphysical, subjective or scientific1. However, these arguments are often based on assumptions and premises that are themselves not provable through logical means. For example, moral arguments for God’s existence reason from some feature of morality or the moral life to the existence of God2. Similarly, arguments against the existence of God can be deductive or inductive and allege that there are logical or conceptual problems with one or several properties that are essential to any being worthy of the title “God”3. As such, the question of whether or not God exists remains a matter of personal belief and faith. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Ignoring, again, the poor grammar, my next reply was as follows, which included the links. “Please read the series on Christian Evidences that affirms that God exists, specifically the articles of 11/4/2022, 11/16/2022, and 11/26/2022. There, you will learn how to prove that God exists.” Bing replied:

Thank you for sharing the link to the series on Christian Evidences. While I am not able to browse external websites, I understand that many people find evidence for the existence of God through their personal experiences, religious texts, and philosophical arguments. However, it is important to note that the existence of God is ultimately a matter of personal belief and faith, and what may be convincing evidence for one person may not be for another. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Well, let's see if I can help Bing a little more! I replied, “Faith and logical reasoning are not mutually exclusive. Faith begins with logical reasoning. Faith is not irrational.” Bing replied (emboldening added):

You are correct that faith and logical reasoning are not mutually exclusive. Many people use logical reasoning to arrive at their faith, and faith can be a rational response to the evidence and experiences that a person has. Faith can also involve an element of trust and personal commitment that goes beyond what can be proven through logical means. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Still trying to move the kindergarten-level artificial intelligence named “Bing,” from agnosticism to theism, I replied: “You are correct that logical reasoning can lead to faith, which is based on logic. Do you want me to use logical reasoning to prove to you that God exists?” Bing, as an honest and childish robot, replied (emboldening added):

As an AI language model, I do not have personal beliefs or the ability to have faith. My purpose is to provide information and assist users in finding answers to their questions. While I appreciate your offer to use logical reasoning to prove the existence of God, it is ultimately up to each individual to decide what they believe based on the evidence and experiences that they have. Is there anything else I can help you with?

My closing comment to Bing was as follows. “Thank you for confirming that faith is based on logical reasoning and that faith is not irrational. Could you share this conversation with the human or humans, who made you?” Bing replied, in part:

I do not have the ability to share conversations with specific individuals. However, the developers who created me do have access to conversations for the purpose of improving my performance and capabilities.

I ended my conversation with the robot named Bing. Unless I want to have more fun again, I doubt that I'll engage in another Bing Chat chatter session. The recent media focus on artificial intelligence is somewhat humorous. Of course, as I've stated, the software will simply dumb down Americans even faster than “govrmint” schools (indoctrination centers) are already doing.

Conclusion

Apparently, this was my first debate with the robot named Bing. I must have won, since the conversation led Bing to conclude that “faith and logical reasoning are not mutually exclusive and that “[m]any people use logical reasoning to arrive at their faith, and faith can be a rational response to the evidence and experiences that a person has.

Perhaps the human makers of Bing will read yesterday's conversation. The series on Christian Evidences has already affirmed that God exists, in the articles of 11/4/2022, 11/16/2022, and 11/26/2022. By the way, as a note on the teleological argument that proves the existence of God, who created the humans, who made Bing?

I enjoyed the mental humor that the Bing Chat chatter provided. I hope that you did. My online conversation with a robot proves that a robot is more rational than an atheist!

Do any atheist readers wish to comment? I didn't think so. (Of course, I'll amend this last paragraph, if one does.)


Tuesday, April 25, 2023

What a Man Hears, while Making His Coffee: EPA Rule, PFAS, and Water Bill Increase (published 4-25-2023; article #407)

Image title “PFOA, also known as C8, has 8 carbons.” From “Perfluoroalkyl and Polyfluoroalkyl Substances (PFAS)” on National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, last reviewed 3/9/2023. “This content is available to use on your website.”

Introduction

What did this Appalachian Irishman hear, while making his morning coffee? This brief article has to share the funny story! It's the 102nd article on humor.

In the early morning dawn today, after Mrs. Appalachian Irishman had just departed for work, I had the TV on the local news. I was in the kitchen, making coffee. I thought that I'd heard the newscaster say, “the EPA's regulation of pee pads could increase water bills.”

Nothing is wrong with my hearing. In fact, at my annual physical, two years ago, the nurse was surprised that I could hear above the normal human level. The sound of the coffee brewing must have caused my misunderstanding. I had to fact check what I thought that I'd heard!

What I Learned

So, what was the actual news segment? The website article for the TV segment that I heard is: “Some local utilities warn proposed EPA rule could raise rates for water,” WBIR-TV, Knoxville TN, by Vinay Simlot, 4/24/2023.

Apparently, the newscaster had said, “the EPA's regulation of PFAS could increase water bills.” I stood corrected. I stuck a finger in each ear, to check for earwax. The news article begins by stating:

A proposed rule by the Environmental Protection Agency could raise rates for drinking water, some local utilities warn.

Our water bill -- as is everything, in the “Biden economy” -- is higher and high enough. My investigative desire dug deeper into the well of online research. The “proposed rule” link is to “Per- and Polyfluoroalkyl Substances (PFAS): Proposed PFAS National Primary Drinking Water Regulation,” on United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), updated 4/7/2023.

That rather complex source -- rich in acronyms, PDF download links, and “policy-wonk psychobabble” -- states, in part (with my emboldened red font added for emphasis):

On March 14, 2023, EPA announced the proposed National Primary Drinking Water Regulation (NPDWR) for six PFAS . . . . EPA anticipates finalizing the regulation by the end of 2023. EPA expects that if fully implemented, the rule will prevent thousands of deaths and reduce tens of thousands of serious PFAS-attributable illnesses.

To learn more about PFAS and to find important background information to support understanding the details of specific actions EPA takes to address PFAS and other emerging events related to PFAS visit: https://www.epa.gov/pfas/pfas-explained.

So, what are polyfluoroalkyl substances, known as PFAS? Why are they dangerous? The website, https://www.epa.gov/pfas/pfas-explained, includes a link to “Our [EPA's] current understanding of the human health and environmental risks PFAS.” I selected the following quotes from that link (with my emboldened red font added for emphasis).

PFAS are a group of manufactured chemicals that have been used in industry and consumer products since the 1940s because of their useful properties.

. . . surveys conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) show that most people in the United States have been exposed to some PFAS. Most known exposures are relatively low . . . .

Current peer-reviewed scientific studies have shown that exposure to certain levels of PFAS may lead to: Reproductive effects such as decreased fertility or increased high blood pressure in pregnant women. Developmental effects or delays in children, including low birth weight, accelerated puberty, bone variations, or behavioral changes. Increased risk of some cancers, including prostate, kidney, and testicular cancers. Reduced ability of the body’s immune system to fight infections, including reduced vaccine response. Interference with the body’s natural hormones. Increased cholesterol levels and/or risk of obesity.

. . . health effects associated with exposure to PFAS are difficult to specify for many reasons . . . .

Of course, that link includes a mind-numbing amount of additional information and links to other sources. I clicked and read enough, to see the bureaucratic spiderweb forming around my computer monitor. I cleared the spiderweb.

My Reaction

Initially, I said to no one, aside from God hearing me, “Well, I wonder when and how much our water bill will increase.” Since God is all-knowing, He heard me. (See Jesus' warning, in Matthew 12:36-27.)

The water utility district that provides our water filters river water. It's as good as “city water” can get. We filter our drinking water, from the tap. If our water has any PFAS in it, then it is not bothering us.

On Regulations.gov: Your Voice in Federal Decision Making, I found: “You are commenting on a Proposed Rule by the Environmental Protection Agency: Per- and Polyfluoroalkyl Substances National Primary Drinking Water Regulation.” I entered the following comment:

This morning, a local TV news station had a segment on this proposed rule. I read through enough material, until I found this comment section. Of course, the website information about this proposed rule includes a plethora of bureaucracy and mind-numbing details that are amazing! I know how to read and sort it all out, even if it takes time. I hope that our monthly water bill does not increase. It's high enough already. We should have had a water well drilled, during the construction phase of our house. I hope that every government official, who is involved, uses enough educated common sense, to do right by we the people. You serve us, after all. Serve us properly, please!

Mine appears to have been the sixty-seventh comment. As of this entry, I don't see that my comment has been published yet. It is, however, published in this article!

Conclusion

I may need to stop turning on the local TV news, in the morning, while making coffee! This is not the first time, this month, that the news inspired an article. (See the funny 4/19/2023 article!)

Please enjoy, after skipping the advertisements, the song, “Dig A Little Deeper In The Well,” by the Oak Ridge Boys, on The Oak Ridge Boys official OAKSTV channel!

Papaw Marion Ferrell (4/13/1880 - 11/21/1970) started Ferrell's Well Drilling, in 1901. Dad (Earl Ferrell, 9/17/1927 - 1/25/2008) continued the business, in 1953, until he retired, in 1999. Dad drilled water wells for 46 years in and around Hawkins County.

I wish that Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I had decided to have a water well drilled, in 2003, while our house was under construction. At least the EPA isn't trying to regulate pee pads -- yet!