Introduction
In the most
recent article, of 5/23/2021, I promised that my next (this)
article would be more entertaining. It has taken me a while to get
here, but here I am! With apology to Shirley Temple, “let
me entertain you! Let me make you smile!” Don't worry! I know
May 31st was Memorial Day and Sunday was the anniversary of D-Day. My
serious article on those follows this one.
You might want to click the links, for
some side-click fun! That's why I set the links. The banty rooster
was still growing, apparently. He sounds like me, when my voice was
changing, when I was about age 12.
Crowin' Like a Banty
Rooster!
Dad used to tell me, when I was
“feelin' my oats” and “braggin' a bit,” that I was “crowin'
like a banty rooster.” (I enjoyed “Possibly
the funniest Bantam Cockerel crow ever!” On Olive Tree Farm
(YouTube), 7/21/2014!) Sometimes, he said it when he was proud of
me. Often times, he said it to “bring me down a notch.” I think
that Dad would like the crowin' I do below!
On 5/2/2021, Sunday, I ordered my
decorative license plate and frame. $35 well spent! On
5/11/2021, Tuesday, I bought and own my “Appalachian Irishman”
website logo. $40 well spent. The image, above, is my website
logo. (I will add it, on the main page of my website.) I had to buy
my logo for the decorative license plate. On 5/19/2021, Wednesday, I
received my decorative license plate and frame. The license plate has
my logo on it.
On Sunday afternoon, 5/23/2021, I
finally got around to placing my decorative license plate, with my
logo, on the front plate holder of my new ol' truck! I will
publish an image of my truck wearing his new decorative plate and
“tars” (below) eventually.
Okay, Dad, I'm done crowin' now! Are
you proud of me? I thought so.
“Tars” for my New
Ol' Truck
“You need you some new 'tars,'
son,” as Dad would have said. Yes, Dad, I have known that my
new ol' truck ('06 Nissan Frontier) was needing a new set of “shoes.”
The “tar” tread was getting thin enough. I've kept the song
“Pardon Me Roy, is that the Cat that Chewed your New Shoes?”
in my mind recently. Do you hear, “Pardon me truck, it that the
road that chewed your new tires!” I do!
On 5/18/2021, Wednesday, I asked the
Express
Lube in the Halls area of Knoxville to order the set of four
“tars” that I had selected.
They look like good “tars.” Cooper
Tires are make in America. You do not want to know the price. You
can't buy a good set of “tars” for $50 a “tar” anymore. “A
dollar ain't worth much now a days.” The “tars” arrived.
On 5/22/2021, Saturday, Mrs.
Appalachian Irishman and I had a little fun. My fine barber and
friend, at Tony's
Best Clips, gave me another great haircut, while we regaled
ourselves in several conversational points. Afterward, at 11:45 AM, I
arrived at the Express Lube, in hope of having my new “tars”
mounted and balanced.
Mrs. Appalachian Irishman was in line,
awaiting an oil change on our '08 Honda Civic. I knew that she had
planned the oil change. Her car got an oil change.
They were, however, too busy, with oil
changes and others getting new tires. I could have left my truck,
gone home in the car with wife. Later, we could have gone back, to
get my truck, once they had been able to get the tires mounted and
balanced. No deal!
I had arranged, on 6/3/2021, while
working at the office, to work from home the next day. The next day,
Friday, I worked from home. I took time off from work and got the
tires on my truck! It was an Appalachian Irishman victory – despite
my “bionic” whatevers. (The poles outside the tire shop helped me
stretch out my left shoulder, down my left side, to my left hip. My
right foot took the pavement pounding, while fussing at me.)
Molly! Good “Puppy!”
The image below is our “good ol'
puppy,” Molly! She and I were hiking, on 11/26/2015. She was almost
a year old then. She still looks about the same now, at age five
going on six. Well, she has adult dog weight now, but Molly is still
all muscle!
On 5/24/2021, Monday, my wife and I had
our usual chiropractic adjustments. I had been needing mine for over
a week! Dang, unkink my left shoulder, to middle back, to left hip!
With apology to Survivor, “the
Burning Heart,” it's me against me; it's the paradox that
drives me on. When the “whatevers” rise up, as lately, I beat
them down, again, as usual.
Anyway, after having arrived home,
Molly was too busy in the back yard to “come see the man.”
Instead, once we were inside, I happened to see Molly! It was about 5
PM. She was in our “back 40.” A yearling deer made the mistake of
visiting. Molly, running in “super doggy” speed, almost caught
the yearling at the left hind quarter! Molly, my wife, and I
almost had venison! Molly would have had the first serving! I wish
that I could have had our video recorder! My mind's eye remembers!
Good “puppy!”
Molly sleeps in her basement
“condominium” nightly, after having spent the evening inside with
us. About 6:30 AM, my wife fixes Molly's breakfast and sets her out
to “guard” our property. About 7:30 AM, I bring Molly her “front
porch snack.” She's usually there, with tail waging and ready!
Molly always gives me a very intelligent look that says, “I love
you, man. Thanks for the breakfast snack!” A man and his dog
help a man endure the realities of life!
I use my hands, going against the
grain, to get “snow doggys” off Molly, in the warm weather. Twice
a day is best, morning and evening. She sheds (makes “snow
doggys”). I like to see the “snow doggys” pile into clumps in
the yard. They look like spots of snow.
Once Molly is inside, in the evenings,
she wants to, first, twirl around on the couch. I take off her “doggy
necklaces” (collars). Eventually, she goes to the kitchen for
“Molly waters,” to get a drink from her water bowl that we bring
in from either the garage or the front porch. After a while, once
Molly has gone out and back in, through either the back or front
doors, a time or two, it's time for the “Got-Ems” game!
The “Got-Ems” game is fun! I divide
six favorite treats into two, to make twelve, plus a “brush your
teeth doggy” biscuit. I count to Molly as I divide her treats.
I can't get Mrs. Appalachian Irishman
to video record Molly and me, playing the “Got-Ems” game! I've
tried. Imagine the following: I'm standing, with “Got-Ems” in
hand, in the living room, near the steps to Molly's basement
condominium. Molly is near my feet. She has “readies!” That is,
her eyes are bright and looking up. I toss up, just above her head,
one “Got-Em” at a time, counting as we go. Molly catches most.
Sometimes, she has a “tooth bouncer” that lands on the floor or
goes down the stairwell (which I retrieve for her). Number 12 is the
“finish strongly” final “Got-Em,” before the “toothbrusher”
doggy biscuit. I don't know if Molly enjoys the “Got-Ems” game
any better than I do! I catch Mrs. Appalachian Irishman smiling at
times. Video record us, dear! I had wanted to publish the video
now!
I Had to Write This,
Dear!
I had told Mrs. Appalachian Irishman
that I wouldn't write the following. Sorry, dear! I changed my
mind!
On 5/27/2021, Thursday, I had returned
home from working at the office. My wife had beaten me home from her
job. (Her last work day was 6/1/2021. She's on summer break now. Oh,
I must add that summer started on 6/1/2021. It does not start on
6/20/2021. I know. I can prove it.) The sun was out fully. I came in.
My wife was in the kitchen. I said howdy. I noticed that the kitchen
light was on, with blinds still closed. (I'd left them closed, before
driving to work, about 7:30 AM, to keep the sun from coming in the
south side windows. The sun was on the other side of the house now).
I open all south side window blinds. I turn off the kitchen light. I
turn off a lamp in the living room. I wondered. I asked. Well, that
was my mistake! I was just “deviling you a bit,” dear!
On 6/2/2021, Tuesday, I was working at
home. My wife had her first day of summer vacation. She wanted to run
an errand. She couldn't find the keys to our '08 Honda Civic that she
drives. Earlier, about 7:45 AM, I had noticed them, on the passenger
side windshield of the car, which was in the garage. (I'd been
visiting with Molly, before work.) I had placed the keys, stealthily,
in the microwave – knowing what would happen eventually. About 11
AM, while I'm working at home, my wife indicated her errand. She
looked for the keys. She couldn't find them. She looked in the
garage. No keys were on or inside the car. I took a break from work.
What are you doing, dear? Trying to find your keys? Look in the
microwave! Well, I got a smile on that joke! She decided not to
rake me across the coals that time! I was lucky!
By the way, dear, this is my third
article, since I “hid”
your anniversary card, on 5/16/2021.
Will you ever find it? Did you find
it? If so, has the “cat got your tongue?” I look forward to your
pithy comment – if you ever get around to it!
By the way, I love you, dear! If I
didn't, I wouldn't “devil you” with my humor as much! Thanks for
being the “long-suffering” Mrs. Appalachian Irishman.
Conclusion
Comedy is the best medicine. I use my
verbal and written artistic talent (i.e., my blarney) and sarcastic
sense of humor, as one way to endure the realities of life. Life is
good. Life is bad. It varies.
Use the everlasting perspective, to
place this temporal life, into the context of everlasting life.
That's the best way to cope with life realities, when they are “not
too good,” as Hoyt would say, on John
Boy and Billy.
By the way, why do folks drive all that
way and do whatever they do, to get tickets to the Smoky Mountain
lightning
bug show? No, they are not “fire flies!” I can watch
lightning bugs from our deck. Come on, man! (I thought that you might
like that as an ending.)