Friday, August 05, 2022

ILLEGAL ANALOGY: 5-14-2006 article on 8-5-2022 podcast (published 8-5-2022, article #345)


Greetings, y'all! Yesterday was election day, here in “Knox County Vegas.” I voted, but the lady told me that I could come back to vote again.

I wrote this reference to my 5/14/2006 article, before I went to vote again. Y'all figure out if I'm joking or serious!

Illegal Analogy” (published 5/14/2006; article #12)

I published my article “Illegal Analogy,” on 5/14/2006. It was my twelfth article. I updated the article, on 6/26/2022, by adding the introductory paragraph only. As of this article today, I have published 345 articles.

I see viewer counts in my website statistics. I don't know who views which articles when. I only see articles viewed by date and number of viewers on that date. On 6/26/2022 and 8/2/2022, I had viewer spikes on “Illegal Analogy” – my article of sixteen years ago. I don't know why my article had viewer spikes on those days. I'd almost forgotten about that article.

Illegal Analogy” (podcast 8/5/2022)

The viewer spikes motivated me to create a podcast, in which I read, with some adaptation, the words that I wrote sixteen years ago. I added an introductory note on my podcast. I changed only a few words, in my original article, for a more natural speaking voice. I did not change anything else.

I hope that you enjoy listening to me, while I read my 5/14/2006 article, “Illegal Analogy!” The YouTube link is at: ILLEGAL ANALOGY (published 8-5-2022; episode #4).


Well, I'd better get off here for now. That lady at the voting place, of yesterday, may be looking for me and wondering why I didn't go back to vote again yesterday. Also, I need to sweep the water that puddled on the front porch – after another, almost daily, pop up storm.

By the way, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman is home now. Yesterday, she had to start “hitting a lick” at work. Today was her second day back to work, after her summer break. Bless her heart. She may have to work another three years, before she can join the retirement club.

Illegal Analogy” was my statement on the flood of illegal aliens crossing the southern border – in 2006. The flood is worse now – 16 years later. The analogy is timeless – unfortunately. When will this once great nation remember that secure borders define a nation?

Thursday, August 04, 2022

REDNECK TOILET HANDLE (published 8-4-2022; article #344; updated 10-28-2022)


An outhouse does not need to flush. Water does not fill a tank. There is no need for a handle to connect to the lever that lifts the flap, to flush an outhouse. An outhouse is easier.

Redneck Toilet Handle

Yesterday, after I got up, from sitting on my indoor toilet, I pushed down the plastic handle to flush the porcelain throne. The plastic connection from the handle to the flush lever (inside the tank) broke. I had to remove, from the top of the tank, my reading library, soap container, and box of matches. I took the lid off the tank. I raised the flush lever to flush the throne.

I pondered on how to fix the problem. I could drive to the gettin' place, to buy another toilet handle and lever – probably made in China. The other option was the redneck solution! I took the photograph, below, after my work was done.

Do you see the new handle! I took an Allen wrench from a toolbox in the garage. I wrapped enough Duck tape around the short end, so it would fit into the opening in the lever (inside the toilet). It worked! I placed the lid back on the tank. I placed my reading library, soap container, and box of matches on top of the lid.

The photograph includes the broken toilet handle (that I'd tried to glue and Duck tape back together) and a nail (that I'd tried to use to make a new handle). The nail head was too large to fit into the opening in the lever. The glue and Duck tape didn't hold.

Yes, I keep a plunger next to my throne. I don't need to read my library, while I'm sitting on my throne. I just like the way my bathroom library looks. I enjoy the comments by folks who visit, for the first time, and use my toilet. Folks who have come by enough times know about my bathroom library.


My 5/1/2022 article includes a section “3/27, Sunday: Coat Hanger.” I had replaced the plastic rod that adjusts the blinds with a coat hanger. That was educated, country boy ingenuity.

I though that you would like to know that I've done it again! This article is another example of redneck practicality. Why do I keep a box of matches at my toilet? Well, y'all figure it out!

10/28/2022 Update

On Friday, 10/28/2022, the Appalachian Irishman had grown tired of the Duck tape, on the Allen wrench, twisting. Every three or four weeks, I'd have to replace the Duck tape. My redneck ingenuity had worked almost three months.

Bravely, my right “bionic” foot took the pounding on the hard Home Depot floors. I bought the “toughest” toilet handle and lever available – made in China, of course. The employee, with whom I chatted, kept up with and added to my humor! I'd stated that the original plastic handle and lever had lasted almost twenty years. In about thirty or so years, I'd be back – to buy one of those toilet handles that you'd talk to and tell to flush! The employee, about my age, stated that he thinks that TVs can hear what you say in your own home! I agreed, of course. It's the “govermint” spying on us, folks!

I took the above photograph today. It is my toilet, with the new “toughest” toilet handle and lever that Home Depot sells. You asked the cost? $18.97 plus $1.75 state tax. A dollar ain't worth much these days.

My bathroom library is still in place. We have neighbors, who like to visit and ask to use my toilet – just to stop by and read a while – while they sit there thinkin'.

Tuesday, August 02, 2022



Howdy, y'all! To my viewers in East Tennessee, don't we need more rain? It's been too dry for too long! Okay, that was my dry humor – on yet another partly cloudy day. I reckon that the rain may hit later this afternoon, as usual, unless it goes around us again.

The inspiration for this article is from “The Bull and Baseball,” on Blind Pig & the Acorn, 7/22/2022, by guest writer, Garland Davis. Please pause reading here, to read that article. It's a down right funny one! Garland Davis explains how the bull “took up the shortstop’s position.” His words created a video image in my mind! I entered a comment on that article, on 7/22/2022. Thanks, Tipper, for publishing Garland's article!

This is Not the Bull

The photograph, below, is not part of my story. It may, however, help you imagine the video that I hope my story creates in your mind.

Free image of “Black and white bull in the barn” by FreePik

The bull is not “in the barn!” He's in the barnyard. That bull does look as big and mean – as the bull that I hope that my mental image video will create for you.

My Hornets then the Bull Story

The Setting

When I was a boy, Mom and Dad rented the old Livesay place – just off dead man's curve, near Highway 11W. The old farm house had an upstairs and downstairs. The coal furnace was in the unfinished basement. (Mom stored her canning on the basement shelves.) The pump piped spring water from the spring house to the house. (The spring house was about 100 yards or so from the house.) Dad heated with either coal or wood. (I busted up a lot of coal and split a lot of wood.) The wood stove in the living room and the coal or wood stove in the kitchen helped the furnace (when it worked). We knew how to sleep under several layers of blankets in winter. Mom and Dad moved us to our new home, in 1974, the year that I started high school. The old Livesay place served Mom, Dad, and us four boys. (My youngest brother was born in 1973, so he doesn't remember the Livesay place very well.)

The Livesay homeplace was part of the Livesay farm. I had a lot of fun, roaming the fields and hills. Two barns, another barn for tractors and such, a smoke house, a chicken coop, and an old two-seater outhouse were meant for exploring – well, except the outhouse. We had indoor plumbing.

I'm the eldest of four boys. I was lucky to have two guys, my age, nearby. We all lived within a few cow fields of each other. One of the guys had a younger brother, who was about the age of my next to eldest brother. The five of us boys hiked, camped, built a couple of tree houses, jumped our bicycles across cow ponds, swung on grapevines, skated on iced ponds, snow sledded, had firecracker and BB gun wars, had tobacco stick wars in barn rafters, and had a lot of fun together. I'm surprised that we survived childhood.

The “Jump from the Barn Loft” Game

One game that we played was “jump from the barn loft.” One of the barns had a way to climb up to the loft. The loft had a door (usually open) that opened to the ground below (where humans, cattle, tractors, and wagons could come and go). Hay bales could be tossed from the ground up to the loft, or visa versa, through that door. The drop from the loft to the dirt below was about six feet or so – as well as I can remember.

My buddies and I played “jump from the barn loft” often enough. It was fun! We often played tag while doing it. Often in who got tagged order, we'd take turns, in a line, jumping from the loft to the dirt below. We'd go back around, climb back up, and jump again – several times – until we got tired.

My Last Jump

On a fine, sunny, summer day, the five of us boys were hard at our game! We'd been at it a while. It was getting close to noon – or dinner time – or “lunch,” as Northerners call it. Mom had vittles for us. We were hungry.

I was the last to jump. My buddies had already jumped and headed to the house. I must have been piddling around a while by myself. (Start your mental video recording now.) I smacked the top of the loft, with my left hand, before I jumped. I remember yelling “Geronimo!” I was feeling my oats!

The Hornets then the Bull

I don't know why that we hadn't seen the hornets nest, up in the dark, left corner! I had smacked their nest. The hornets came after me, as I landed on the barn floor.

The bull greeted me. (We had been warned to watch out for him. We hadn't seen him. I saw him, about a second after I'd jumped!) He was standing near where I'd landed, looking mean. He dug one front hoof into the dirt. He snorted.

I took off running out of the barn, through the field, and toward the house! The fence line was about 40 yards away from the barn. The house was about another 100 or more yards from the fence line. The hornets stung me a few times. The bull chased me. I could hear him snort – as I ran -- while the hornets were stinging me.

I out ran the bull and slid under the barbed wire fence, just in time. (Our dogs, Bandit and Blackie, had dug out a spot under the fence, so they could cross under.) That saved me from the bull!

The hornets were still after me. I had to jump over a gate, to get to the gravel road that lead to the house. (Usually, I'd climb over the gate. I managed to jump over it that day!) I ran into the kitchen through the open screen door. I recall hollering, “Open the door! Hornets are chasing me!” Someone held the door open. The metal spring closed the door automatically, once I was inside. That stopped the hornets. Hornets bounced against that screen door a while but left finally.

Mom, bless her heart, treated my hornet stings – about four or five, mostly on my neck and head. I finally ate my dinner. I had to take it easy a couple of days, so Mom could keep treating the hornet stings until they healed. My buddies and I didn't play “jump from the barn loft” a while – if we ever did again. (You may turn off your mental video recording. Be sure to save the tape!)


Over the years, I have told my “the hornets then the bull” story many times. I've told it to young folks – at youth rallies, at church camps, and so forth – to make a spiritual point, which I will do next.

The inspired apostle Peter wrote:

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6-11, NIV)

The inspired James wrote:

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7, NIV)

I “resisted” those hornets and that bull – by running away fast! My “resistance” did not force the hornets and the bull to flee from me. I had to flee from them!

The devil, or Satan, is a “roaring lion,” who wishes “to devour” us. Satan, however, is not as powerful as we think he is. When we submit to God, cast our cares on Him, endure suffering a little while, and resist the devil, then Satan will run away from us! Yes, Satan may “devil” us plenty, but it will be only a little while – when we think in the everlasting perspective.

Lord, my faith stands firm and trusts in you! Devil, I resist you, by faith in Christ, so tuck tail and run away from me! Satan, you lose. God wins. I stand firmly with the winning team.

Y'all are welcome to share my “hornets then the bull” story – either just for fun or, more importantly, to help folks tell the devil to go run off somewhere else and to leave them alone! If folks submit to God and resist the devil, that lying Satan will flee from them.

Thursday, July 28, 2022

CADES COVE (published 7-28-2022; article #342)


Mom (Betty Lou Wood Ferrell, 11/24/1932 - 12/27/2000) and Dad (Earl Ferrell, 9/17/1927 - 1/25/2008) took us boys (four of us born from 1960 to 1973) to Cades Cove every now and then. Later in life, Mom and Dad visited Cades Cove, by themselves, several times.

The last conversation that Dad and I had, before he joined Mom, was about he and I taking a trip to Cades Cove. He looked forward to our trip together. We never got to take that trip. Dad is enjoying time with Mom, and many others, in the Heavenly Cove – which must be more beautiful than Cades Cove.

Cades Cove is in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. I'd suggest that you read the History of Cades Cove.

Inspiration for this Article

My May 20, 2022, article highly recommended “Blind Pig & the Acorn.” I still highly recommend Tipper's website! It's for folks who are interested in Appalachian heritage – which should be all folks!

Every few days, I stop by to read or listen a while, at Blind Pig & the Acorn, where there's a fresh article daily. I stopped by earlier today, to catch up on new articles, since my last visit.

Among the great new articles, one caught my eye with the most interest. It is “John McCaulley – Cades Cove,” Blind Pig & the Acorn, 7/27/2022. Tipper wrote:

Cades Cove is one of the most visited places in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, if not the most. It’s never been a favorite place of mine; in fact I’ve only visited the area one time.

Cades Cove is stunningly beautiful. The views will literally take your breath away. There’s old buildings and other interesting things to see, and lots of folks who want to see them. The area is often crowded to the point of cars sitting still in a long line trying to catch a glimpse of the landscape, buildings, and wildlife.

I prefer the solitude of the backwoods, the high ridges, and the deep dark hollers.

Tipper, I agree with you! If you could visit Cades Cove, without all the traffic, it would be much more pleasant. (My “Cades Cove 2007” section, below, explains.)

Cades Cove, John McCaulley (1880 - 1961)

Tipper's 7/27/2022 article references Donnie Laws' YouTube Channel, “APPALACHIA : Donnie Laws East Tennessee Outdoors: History & of Stories of Appalachia.” Donnie Laws has five years worth of videos on Appalachian history and stories! I'd not hear of him before, but I'm glad to know about his website now! I may add his YouTube channel to my “Appalachian Heritage” section.

Donnie Laws published “Appalachia History of Cades Cove the John McCaulley Story,” 7/19/2022. It is a 28-minute presentation on:

Story and life of John McCaulley and his life in the Cades Cove from 1880 till he left it in 1937. A rare audio interview with him from 1960.

John McCaulley (1880 - 1961) begins to speak, in his 1960 interview, about five minutes into the video. John McCaulley was interviewed a year before he passed. John McCaulley and his wife had nine children. Donnie Laws comments before and after the 1960 interview with John McCaulley.

Please pause from reading the rest of this article, until you watch and listen to Donnie Laws' presentation that I have referenced.

Cades Cove 2007

Didn't you enjoy that presentation? I thought that you would!

My July 14, 2022, article mentioned Clingman's Dome, in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. I searched my website and found “no posts matching the query: Cades Cove.” Since my first article (3/6/2006), I've never written about Cades Cove? I was shocked! I wrote 28 articles in 2006 and three in 2008. I wrote nary an article in 2007.

Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I have taken a number of weekend getaways -- staying in a cabin near the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. We've hiked several trails. One weekend was Friday, June 29, to Monday, July 2, 2007. We visited Cades Cove, and I took sixteen photographs. The following are two that I selected.

As I recall, the view is looking southeast. The weather was warm and partly cloudy. The photograph does not fully capture the amazing panoramic view, which my mind retains.

The cabin was located just off the south loop. I think a shed (partial view) was to the left of me – not the outhouse, which was around back, as I recall. While we explored the cabin interior, I imagined who had lived in the cabin and what their lives were like – until the government forced them off their land, which had been taken from the Cherokees. (See my July 14, 2022, article.)

Mrs. Appalachian Irishman drove our 2000 Toyota Camry (the car that we had at the time). I either rode along or got out and “hiked” the road – depending on how slow or fast the line of cars that we were in was moving. I had on my hiking shoes and ball cap. I had my canteen with me. I hiked much of the eleven-mile loop road, with a sidetrack or two in the cove. It was easier to hike than to sit, crawling along, in our car.

Cades Cove is beautiful and inspiring – except for the traffic. On Wednesdays, from May 4th through September 28th, of this year, the park restricts vehicles. Visitors may either walk or bicycle the eleven-mile loop road (which is paved). I wonder if my wife and I will hike Cades Cove on a Wednesday one of these days. I doubt it. The route from the house to Cades Cove, which I'd take, is about a two-hour drive, one way. We'd have to overnight in a cabin, on Tuesday, hike Cades Cove on Wednesday, and return home. Molly, our doggy, would miss us. I don't know if we could take Molly along. We will see. The park needs to set Saturdays, not Wednesdays, as the day for hikers or bicyclers. That's my opinion. Feel free to make it your own!


Like John McCaulley (1880 - 1961), Papaw Marion Ferrell (4/13/1880 - 11/21/1970) was also born in 1880. Papaw Ferrell lived his life in the Cave Springs area of Hawkins County, Tennessee. His wife, Mollie Gertrude Archer Ferrell (11/30/1892 - 6/11/1971), had eight children that lived past infancy. Their eighth child was my father. I was born in 1960 – the same year that John McCaulley was interviewed. The following is a photograph of Granny and Papaw Ferrell, in their younger years.

Cades Cove is down right pretty. The Cherokee lived in the cove, from time immemorial. Settlers took the cove from the Cherokee. The government took the cove from the settlers' descendants. Life goes on – sometimes – but not often – for the good. Just give me a horse and a dirt road, and let me live in the cove – the Heavenly Cove.

Dad has everlasting joy, with Mom and many others, in the Heavenly Cove. The last conversation that Dad and I had, before he passed, was about our plan to visit Cades Cove together.

Dad, tell Mom, and all the others up there, that I'm coming up to walk in the Cove with you! Well, I don't recon that I'll get there today, but my plan is to get there – by God's grace and my faith response!

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

PRESIDENT BIDEN'S REPLY TO MY LETTER – Over a Year Late (published 7-27-2022; article #341)


Howdy, y'all! To my Tennessee audience, I wonder when the weather will warm up! It's too cold, and we've had enough snow! But seriously folks, we're in the Dog Days of Summer. It's supposed to be hot. Molly (our doggy), however, does not care for the heat.

My 7/25/2021 article took an interesting sidetrack on the Dog Days of Summer – which are from July 3rd to August 11th every year. It has something -- or nothing -- to do with SiriusXM. Y'all will figure it out! I'm not deviling you!

By the way, I hope that you listened to my podcast: "If I Were the Devil" – Inspired by Paul Harvey (published 7-22-2022; podcast #3). The podcast link is also in my 7/22/2022 article -- which has the transcript. Please share my article and podcast widely! We're trying to help folks not go to the devil – if they both hear and listen.

That brings me to the purpose of this brief article. President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., apparently, heard the words in my 5/24/2021 letter to him, but he did not listen to (or heed) my words. President Biden replied on 7/12/2022. Why did it take him over a year to reply to me?

My 5/24/2021 Letter to Biden

My 5/22/2021 article – “AN INVITATION TO THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE USSA TO REVEAL THE MONEY TREE (Published 5/22/2021, Saturday)” – includes the main content of my letter to President Biden. I mailed it, on 5/24/2022, as my article stated. The three links to the national debt are still valid.

The final two paragraphs of my article stated:

Of course, in practical terms, I know that he will never know that I sent this letter. I anticipate that a robotic letter opening machine will open my letter, scan it for context, determine that the content is irrelevant, and send my letter to the recycle robot.

My wisdom in a word will be someone's toilet paper – eventually. I WILL HAVE TRIED!

Apparently, my 5/24/2021 letter to President Biden did not become toilet paper!

Biden's 7/12/2022 Reply

Monday, July 18, 2022, was Mrs. Appalachian Irishman's age [year censored by her] birthday. On that date, I received Joe Biden's 7/12/2022 reply, to my 5/24/2021 letter! That was my wife's “birthday surprise!”

Joe Biden's letter to me is below. I hope that you can enlarge it enough to read it. I added my handwritten notes and blotted out the name of our “huge metropolitan mega city.”

Joe addressed me by my first name only, as if we've known each other for years. So, I'll just call him Joe. He wrote that he was “hearing from” me.

My Thoughts to Joe

I'm glad that my letter inspired you, Joe, but why did it take over a year to reply to me! Joe, you and I are not traveling the same road together!

You are optimistic for the future. I am not. Most folks are not. Your common ground is sinking sand. I will not join you there.

You think that you are moving forward – when you're moving backward. I'd help write the next chapter in the American story – if you will listen to me. You don't want to listen to my courage and dedication.

The Un-united Socialist States of America (USSA) is at a critical moment. You, Joe, do not want to meet the moment with anyone who disagrees with your socialist agenda – including me. The best days of the USA – or USSA, since 1/20/2021, when you, Joe, became the first USSA president – are behind us, at least for a long time – if not forever.

Joe, you wrote as if my letter was very important. Don't pontificate to me. I am not deceived.

USSA Money Tree

The U.S. Department of the Treasury website includes Fiscal Data, which is “your one-stop shop for federal financial data.” The Fiscal Data website includes Debt to the Penny, which is the official record of national debt, updated each workday.

On 7/25/2022, the “Total Public Debt Outstanding” was $30,543,559,825,181.40. The website includes historical national debt – by “Preview & Download, Date Range (Record Date), All.” I have included three more dates, for perspective:

7/25/2012 - debt $15,874,859,322,768.40 (almost 1/2 the 7/25/22 debt)

7/25/2002 - debt $6,150,003,507,609.84 (almost 1/2 the 7/25/12 debt)

4/01/1993 - debt $4,225,873,987,843.44 (first entry. No entries farther back.)

“Preliminary Report on Foreign Holdings of U.S. Securities at End-June 2021, February 28, 2022” shows at least 25 nations, to which the USSA owes money. China is number six on the list. Japan is number one. I doubt that Japan will try to take over the USSA. China wants to. I still suggest that we start learning Mandarin.

Since 2002, the national debt has almost doubled every ten years. There is no money tree, folks. The USSA is broke and continues to spend more money than it brings in (which is plenty) – as an undisciplined adult, who maxes out his credit cards.


I will let y'all know, if I decide to write and mail Joe my reply. I won't wait over a year. I don't think that I'll reply. It would waste my time – like casting pearls before swine. (See Matthew 7:6.)

At least my 5/24/2021 letter to Joe did not become someone's toilet paper! I assume that a low level staffer discovered that Joe's standard, canned letter had not been sent to me. So, the staffer took a canned letter, from the stack of canned letters, and mailed to me one of Joe's form letters, which someone probably wrote for him. Joe may have signed his name on the original letter, which was copied many times. I would be shocked, if I ever learn that Joe took the time to read my 5/24/2021 letter and to pen his personal reply of 7/12/2022. I doubt that Joe even knows that he sent me the letter.

Joe, you need to listen to and heed my words – not just hear them. Come on man! Joe, guide this once great nation back to the Rock of Ages – not to the sinking sand of Satan! I pray to the Good Lord that you will listen and hear. I am offering a pearl of great price! (See Matthew 13:45.) Don't throw away the pearl, Joe!

Friday, July 22, 2022

“IF I WERE THE DEVIL” – Inspired by Paul Harvey (published 7-22-2022; article #340)


On 4/3/1965, Paul Harvey's “If I Were The Devil” aired on the ABC Radio Network. He was almost age 47. I was almost age five. The second section, below, has an apparently valid link, to his 4/3/1965 radio broadcast. I also include his 10/13/1964 and 7/1/1996 newspaper articles. Paul Harvey passed away, at age 90, thirteen years ago.

My 7/22/2022 podcast – "If I Were the Devil” – Inspired by Paul Harvey (published 7-22-2022; podcast #3) – is linked in the first section below. I attained age 62, on 7/17/2022, Sunday. The first section includes the transcript of my 7/22/2022 podcast. Paul Harvey's broadcast, which I have heard many times, inspired my podcast.

M. Fearghail (7/17/1960 - ), “If I Were The Devil,” 7/22/2022


My 7/22/2022 podcast is on my YouTube channel, at "If I Were the Devil" – Inspired by Paul Harvey (published 7-22-2022; podcast #3).

I wish that my voice carried the same eloquence as Paul Harvey. Read and listen to the words. The words are what matters.


“If I Were the Devil,” by M. Fearghail, on Friday, July 22nd, 2022, as inspired by Paul Harvey.

If I were the devil, I would lie that God does not exist, that the universe was created from nothing – and it evolved, that there is no life after death, and that the Bible is myth. I would lie that I am a myth.

If I were the devil, I would focus hearts and minds on the here and now. They would think that 70, 80, 90, or even 100 years is a long time – that there is no everlasting joy – or torment.

If I were the devil, I would lie that society decides what is right and wrong. What is right may become wrong, and what is wrong may become right. There are no absolutes – except that nothing is absolute.

If I were the devil, I'd teach the majority to worship the creation, or the government, or both – not the Creator. I would deceive them to economic then national destruction – to “save the planet.” They would worship the sun – not the Son.

If I were the devil, I would destroy the traditional family. I've been doing a good job. Children would turn in their parents, or their grandparents, to the authorities. Grandparents would have to raise their grandchildren. I already have most of the parents.

If I were the devil, I'd confuse male and female. How a man or woman, or a boy or girl, “feels” is his or her gender. I would change the definition of marriage, to be anything I wanted it to be.

If I were the devil, I would keep inflation hot. I'd print worthless money and increase national debt. I'd give out handouts. I'd keep exports low and imports high. I would make a rich nation a beggar – for money, for oil, for products – to a rising nation. I've already made Mandarin a hard language to learn.

If I were the devil, I would open the border wider – for all illegals to cross. Bring in all, who yearn for handouts, bus rides, cell phones, and places to live! Bring in terrorists, stalkers, rapists, criminals, murderers!

If I were the devil, I would demand the “right to choose” on abortion, but I would deny the “right to choose” on education. Unborn babies must be murdered, and children must be brain washed.

[Page two]

If I were the devil, the man of lawlessness, I would destroy civil society. My evil children would commit all kinds of wickedness, to honor me. The blind would blame the vehicle, the gun, the knife, or the weapon of choice – instead of how my disciples use those tools.

If I were the devil, I would ridicule the founding fathers and their documented principles. I would ridicule them – not for their principles -- but due to their vices. After all, a man with vices can do nothing virtuous! I would re-write the nation's history and indoctrinate the children in socialist schools. I would “cancel” anyone, who stood against me.

If I were the devil, I'd continue to grow the socialist government – of the government, by the government, for the government – as one divided nation, under socialism, with liberty and justice for the politically correct. Pesky patriots would go to re-education camps or “to the devil” – me.

If I were the devil, I'd just keep doing what he's doing – to take the majority to Hell with him.

Wake up (not woke up), America! Do not go to the devil! Turn to the Lord! I have spoken.

Paul Harvey Aurandt “Paul Harvey” (9/4/1918 – 2/28/2009), If I Were The Devil”

One apparently valid link to Paul Harvey's 4/3/1965 radio broadcast and transcript, "If I Were The Devil," is via Illinois Fraternal Order of Police, at '"If I Were The Devil' by Paul Harvey | Illinois Fraternal Order Of Police.” That link also includes their 3/25/2021 YouTube link, to the same 4/3/1965 broadcast. (Note: the link could be Paul Harvey's modified rebroadcast of his original broadcast. A search of “Paul Harvey, If I Were The Devil, 4/3/1965” provides other links.)

Paul Harvey's wisdom still speaks. Please click the link, above, and listen to his ageless eloquence, in his distinct voice.

Paul Harvey's 10/13/1964 newspaper column, If I Were the Devil I Would Pray, Our Father Who Art in Washington,” is in “The Gadsden Times,” in Gadsden, Alabama. The link to his column is at Google News Archive Search, The Gadsden Times, 10/13/1964, page 4. (It is easier to read.) The following is my download of that link.

Paul Harvey's 7/1/1996 newspaper column, If I were the devil,” is in the "Reading Eagle" (Reading, PA). The link to his column is at Google News Archive Search, Reading Eagle, 7/1/1996, Opinion B4. (It is easier to read.) The following is my download of that link.

Paul Harvey revised his original newspaper column. He adapted his original column in his radio broadcast. Paul Harvey's wisdom still speaks. His wisdom inspired my written and verbal words, with the same title.


The inspired apostle Paul wrote the following, to the Christians at Thessalonica, at Colossae, and at Rome. I emboldened certain phrases and sentences, for emphasis.

To the Thessalonians

Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you, brothers and sisters, not to become easily unsettled or alarmed by the teaching allegedly from us – whether by a prophecy or by word of mouth or by letter – asserting that the day of the Lord has already come. Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way, for that day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the man doomed to destruction. He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God.

Don’t you remember that when I was with you I used to tell you these things? And now you know what is holding him back, so that he may be revealed at the proper time. For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.

But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters loved by the Lord, because God chose you as firstfruits to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter. May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. (2 Thess. 2:1-17, the entire chapter, NIV)

To the Collossians

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. (Colossians 2:6-8, NIV)

To the Romans

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2, NIV)

The majority, in the world and in this once great nation, are choosing to follow Satan, the devil, to his everlasting torment. A few are choosing wisely. I hope that you, dear reader, are choosing to follow the Way, the Truth, and the Life. If not, choose wisely.

Wake up, America – before it's too late!