Translations

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Texas Pete is not Made in Texas? Let's Sue Texas Pete! (published 10-11-2022, article #363)

 

Introduction

I often listen to Phil Williams, on The Phil Show, NewsTalk 98.7 FM, while taking my morning constitutional. He shares humorous news stories that I wouldn't hear otherwise. Phil Williams inspired my 9/24/2022 article, on Blue Horse notebook paper. He did it again today – while I was sitting on the throne! (A man has to keep his exhaust system clean.)

Phil Williams informed his audience about a man, who has sued Texas Pete, since the product (the hot sauce that we have in the refrigerator) is made in North Carolina – not Texas. I had to fact-check Phil Williams! “This can't be true,” I thought.

Refrigerator Check

After my morning constitutional, I shared the news with Mrs. Appalachian Irishman, who is on fall break this week and not working. Then, I opened our refrigerator, took out the half full (or empty, if you're a pessimist), six-ounce bottle of Texas Pete Original Hot Sauce. (Sometimes, I add it to scrambled eggs, for weekend breakfasts.) We've been buying Texas Pete for years. I never knew where it was made. I didn't care. I just like it.

Surprise, surprise,” as Gomer Pyle would say! Texas Pete is made in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, by the T.W. Garner Food Company. The label also states: “Garner Foods, est. 1929” and the texaspete.com website. By the way, the Texas Pete label states “glutton free” – as if I care.

I took the above photograph this morning. The Texas Pete bottle was on the corner of the kitchen countertop. Yes, to my Russian readers, we keep a Матрешка on the countertop. It reminds us of Russia (10/1/1994 - 9/30/1999).

Interweb” Check

I decided to search the “Interweb” for “Texas Pete class action lawsuit.” What do you know? Phil Williams hadn't invented the story! It's true, folks! I can't make up this stuff! It really happened!

The Charlotte Observer reported this morning: “Texas Pete hot sauce is ‘deceptive’ because it’s made in North Carolina, lawsuit says,” by Julia Marnin, updated 10/11/2022, 9:44 AM. The first sentence of the article is:

A man bought a bottle of Texas Pete original hot sauce for $3 before discovering it is from North Carolina and not Texas.

The article continues, by stating the man's name. He's from Los Angeles, California (of course). He'd bought a bottle of Texas Pete in 2021. On 9/12/2022, the man sued T.W. Garner Food Company, for false advertising and violation of consumer protection laws. (Why did it take that man about a year to sue?)

The article contains the link to the Texas Pete website, which explains how Texas Pete sauce got its name, in 1929. The factory is in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The corporation is T.W. Garner Food Company, incorporated in 1946. They have 17 products.

My Phil Williams fact-check verifies his statement. It's “just the facts, ma'am” – “believe it or not.”

My Suggestion, in Humor, to Texas Pete

The folks at T.W. Garner Food Company might want to add the following warnings, to their Texas Pete labels (if there's enough room):

– Caution. Sauce is hot. It could burn your mouth.

– Texas Pete sauce is not made in Texas. The cowboy on the label is not intended to deceive.

– Our hot sauce does not contribute to Global Warming. It does not contribute to Greenhouse Gases. It may cause natural emissions after ingestion.

– Our sauce is for human oral consumption, as a flavoring on human food, only. Drinking the sauce is at your own risk. We will not be liable, if your mouth and throat burn, by drinking our sauce. Do not feed our sauce to your pets. Do not inject our sauce into your veins. Do not drip our sauce into your eyes. Do not inhale our sauce into your nose. Do not drip our sauce into your ears. Do not rub our sauce on your body.

– The plastic cap and glass bottle are recyclable. Please recycle.

– Texas Pete is striving to be “carbon neutral.” Please give us time, and don't sue us yet.

By the way, why did the California man, in 2021, pay $3 for a bottle of Texas Pete? The Texas Pete website shows that a three-pack of their six-ounce Original Hot Sauce costs $5.50 (divided by three is $1.83 per bottle). Our local grocery store (website known) sells the same six-ounce bottle for $1.38. Of course, a six-ounce bottle of the sauce probably cost $0.75 or so, before stagflation.

Conclusion

Have you heard the joke, about “everything's big in Texas?” I heard a version of it as a teenager. I've improvised it several times over the decades. Here is my version today:

A man drives to Texas. The highway becomes much wider, as he enters Texas. He stops to buy a drink. He gets out of his truck and uses a ladder to climb up onto the curb – because everything's big in Texas.

He manages to open the large doors and go inside the huge store. A big, friendly Texan picks him up and places him on the stool – because everything's big in Texas. The man's eyes can barely see over the countertop – because everything's big in Texas.

He orders a Coke. He hears “beep, beep,” as a forklift brings his huge Coke to him – because everything's big in Texas. He drinks as much of the Coke as he can.

The man needs to take a leak. He asks, “Where's the nearest bathroom?” He's told to go out the door, turn left, walk two blocks, turn right, and walk two more blocks. Walk to the edge of the pier. The bathroom will be in front of him.

The man starts walking, as instructed. He's trying to hold his bladder. He reaches the edge of the pier. Slipping, he falls into the Gulf of Mexico. He cries out, “Lord, don't flush it!”

I hear some of you laughing! Is a dime-a-dozen, ambulance-chasing lawyer trying make some money off the California man's lawsuit against Texas Pete? I wonder. You know, of course, that 90% of the lawyers give the other 10% a bad name!

Well, I'm off here for now. At least my “bionic whatevers” of last week (my 10/7/2022 article) are back to “bionic normal” today. Heck, my left shoulder and side may have improved -- again – by another setback to go forward.

Thanks for the laugh, this morning, Phil Williams!


Friday, October 07, 2022

“NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED” (published 10-7-2022; article #362)

Photo by Nathan Lemon on Unsplash.

Introduction

No good deed goes unpunished.” You've probably heard or spoken the phrase many times – usually in sarcastic humor. (If you have a “no good deed goes unpunished” story, you are welcome to enter a comment!)

Decades ago, I learned the phrase from a good friend, whom I've known all my life. He likes to use the phrase, at a sarcastic moment, when someone else or he had suffered by doing a good deed.

Well, on 10/5/2022 (Wednesday), I did a good deed. I awakened the next morning, suffering from that good deed. I'll tell you about it. This article starts off funny but ends on a spiritual theme.

The Good Deed

On Wednesday, my wife's good first cousin had his van in the shop. His van was ready. My ol' truck and I took 'cuz Mike to get his van. Afterward, I followed him, as he drove to a nearby Food City, to gas up his van.

By the way, before we left his home for the shop, 'cuz Mike and I had talked briefly about the price of gas going up again. The cost of gas had been going up, but USSA President Biden released the nation's strategic oil reserves – to decrease the “pain at the pump.” Gas prices went down a little – still too high. Recently, however, the cost of gas started rising again – since the strategic oil reserve is half empty.

I will go into a little more detail on that point. My 11/28/2021 article includes the section “USSA First President: Oil Dependence,” in which I had stated some facts. If you're interested, the USSA Energy Department's Strategic Petroleum Reserve (SPR) website has facts and figures. See also, among many articles on the topic, Marketplace, a division of Minnesota Public Radio, “U.S. oil reserve tumbles to lowest level in 4 decades,” by Samantha Fields, 9/22/2022. The article concludes by assuring the reader that, although the SPR is depleted, the “salt caverns are still more than half full.” Well, the SPR gas tank is half full or half empty – depending on how you want to spin the news. The USSA is running half empty, as I see it.

Well, let's get back to the good deed! The day was sunny and pleasant. (We need rain.) I enjoyed helping 'cuz Mike. It was my good deed for the day. I took the photograph, below, after he'd filled up and left for his home.

The Food City gas was lower than other gas stations in the area. Mike and I had noticed the prices, at various stations, on the way to the shop. The photograph is looking southeast. My ol' truck is behind me, not in the image. My timing was off. More vehicles were at the pumps or in line to the pumps a few minutes before I took the photograph.

I had to take the photograph! My sarcastic conversation with myself reminded me of the gas lines, during the Carter administration.

The Punishment

So, how was my good deed punished? I awakened the next morning, wondering why the left side of my back (below and behind my “bionic” left shoulder) was very sore! I'd not lifted anything heavy the day before. I'd just done my routine stretches and exercises. After I'd taken the photograph of the gas station, I'd gone inside the Food City, to buy a few items. My right foot had taken the pounding on the asphalt and tile well enough. (My right foot step may never feel the same as my left foot step – unless it takes a few more years to feel the same.)

Yesterday, Thursday, my chiropractor worked me in, at 12 PM. My ol' truck took me there and back. My chiropractor (Doc. Art) adjusted me and noted the tight and stiff muscles in the left side of my back.

Aside from the good deed that I'd done on Wednesday, I'd not done anything else to “kink up” my muscles! No good deed goes unpunished.

My “no good deed goes unpunished” moment generated some “cussin' and fussin'” yesterday. (My 2/15/2009 article, “Cursing & Praying on a Ridge,” is in my “Articles of Note - A Select Few” section for a reason.) Today, however, I endure – in the everlasting mindset. I'd rather not feel the pain. It will go away. It's my “thorn in the flesh.” I ain't “cussin' and fussin'” today. God forgave me, for my Irish mouth of yesterday.

The Song by Van Morrison, as a Side Note

Today (Friday), the muscle tightness continues. I'm doing my various stretches. I've wrapped the stretchy cloth stuff around my torso (as if I'd cracked a rib). I've used the green tube stuff (BioFreeze) and the blue bottle stuff (of whatever herbs and oils that Mrs. Appalachian Irishman had learned to concoct for me years ago). I took a long, hot shower. I use my “muscle thumper.”

It's another “setback to go forward.” I've had plenty of them. I'm tired of them. Our regular, once every four weeks, chiropractic appointment is next Wednesday (the 12th). Mrs. Appalachian Irishman will be on “fall break” next week, so we'll go together. I figure that I'll be back to my “bionic” normal, by or before next Wednesday. It takes time to unkink kinked muscles.

While “enjoying the pain” early this morning, I searched the “Interweb,” by Norton Safe Search, for “No good deed goes unpunished.” The second search result was the Van Morrison (YouTube channel) song Van Morrison - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (Official Audio). I'd never heard that song. I listened to it. It's good enough to hear once.

By the way, I'm aware of Van Morrison. I've heard his song, “Brown Eyed Girl,” on the radio many times. Today, I learned that his song, “Wild Night,” was released in 1971. I didn't know that “Wild Night,” by John Mellencamp and Meshell Ndegeocello, in 1994, covered Morrison's original. I'd always thought that John Mellencamp wrote that song. Well, you live and learn, even if it is only music trivia.

Spiritual Conclusion

That “no good deed goes unpunished” is a truism – in a sarcastic and humorous sense. The phrase is a way to laugh off life's unfortunate realities. This article is one example. Others abound. Imagine -- as I'm sure that has happened somewhere – that a man stops to help another, whose car has a flat tire. After helping, the man's truck won't start. I'm sure that my readers can regale us by their examples as well! (If you have a “no good deed goes unpunished” story, you are welcome to enter a comment!)

That good is rewarded and bad is punished is truth – in the everlasting sense. The inspired apostle Paul has written:

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV)

Please read chapters four and five, for the complete context. In fact, read all of Second Corinthians! The following are a few more verses from that section, with my comments.

The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. (2 Corinthians 4:4, NIV)

That truth, of about 2,000 years ago, remains the same today. Folks need to open their eyes and see the Light.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV)

From the moment of birth, we all start to die. Yes, we grow from birth to adult life. We either wear out or rust out, depending on how active we are. I'm wearing out. My “no good deed goes unpunished” story is an example. I call it “chump change.” By faith, I see what is unseen. I look forward to the eternal weight of glory!

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. (2 Corinthians 5:14-15, NIV)

Doing good deeds only – without salvation in Christ, by a faith response to God's grace – will not save. The saved, however, “work out” their salvation, by God working in them, for “his good purpose.” See the inspired apostle Paul's words in Philippians 2:12-13. Saving, active faith inspires good deeds, which is God's purpose for the saved. Christ's love, in his atoning sacrifice, compels us! We live for Christ – not for ourselves! It's not a chore. Good deeds flow from the saved, naturally, as spring water flows from the mountain. It's refreshing!

What is the conclusion? In Christ, all good deeds done in His service, as inspired by His love for us – are rewarded everlastingly!

Humorous Final Conclusion

What? Another conclusion? Forgive me. I have to write this. It's who I am!

To end on a funny note, after my long, hot shower this morning, I heard a dastardly fly, buzzing in my bathroom. I thought: “What else will aggravate me today?”

Using the trusty flyswatter, I sent that pesky fly to everlasting nothingness. I then thought: “When life swats me to death, I'll go to everlasting life – since I have a soul, made in God's image, unlike that fly, which I'd I just killed.”

Okay, I'm done! Writing this article helped loosen my left shoulder area. I'll keep swatting the pesky flies of life, until life swats me and sends me Home. I'm ready to go!