Introduction
Greetings and welcome to the 123rd entry in the Humor topic section, dear reader! Are they sketchers or Skechers? You know what sketchers are. So does the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: sketchers. But what are Skechers? Why is the “s” capitalized, and what happened to the “t”?
Last Saturday, I happened to hear a radio commercial advertising “Where's My Skechers” (without the question mark). I was amazed! The commercial inspired this article.
Parents, did you know that you can use your semi-intelligent (smart) phones to locate your children if they are wearing a certain type of shoes? It's true, believe it or not!
Sketchers or Skechers?
As the above image depicts, sketchers are individuals who have a talent for sketching artwork. I am not much of a sketcher. The 10/22/2223 article shows my limited talent from the late 1980s. Ratman still lives!
What, however, are Skechers (without the “t”)? Apparently, they are shoes. Mrs. Appalachian Irishman even has a few pair in her closet. Skechers, an international company, is headquartered in California.
How was Skechers named? I had to find out. The company website offers no clues. Searching online, I came across “Skechers rose from humble Manhattan Beach beginnings to $8 billion in annual sales.” South Bay History, by Sam Gnerre, 3/1/2024. The author claims the following (italics added for emphasis):
The name “Skechers” came from two younger Greenberg family members, who suggested it from the term “skecher,” which they said meant an energetic kid who couldn’t sit still.
Around these parts, young'uns with a lot of energy are said to have “ants in their pants.” I don't suppose that naming a brand of kids' shoes “Ants in the Pants” would be good marketing, or would it? Imagine the slogan “A-in-P Shoes for active kids!”
A reader asks, “How many pair of Skechers shoes does your long-suffering wife have?” Well, I don't recall, and I don't wish to dig around again to find out. The article from 1/8/2025 had the correct total of all her shoes at the time. A few pair are Skechers. Since then, my wife traded out an old pair of sandals for a new pair. I assume the total is still the same.
Where's My Skechers?
I don't own a pair. “Where's My Skechers” is the brand of shoes for children, according to Skechers: Kids: Collections & Features: Where's My Skechers. The web page states, “Each pair [of Where's My Skechers for kids] is designed with a secure, hidden pocket under the insole that perfectly fits an Apple AirTag®, so you can always know where their favorite shoes are.” Of course, according to Skechers: Where's My Skechers, the Apple AirTag® is not included.
So, what is an Apple AirTag? The web page shows it to be a small device that you can attach to about anything (e.g., keys, billfold, etc.). You must first install a software application (app) on your semi-intelligent (smart) phone. The application connects to and tracks the AirTag wherever you attach it. Just don't lose your semi-intelligent phone!
But wait! There are software applications (apps) that you can install elsewhere (i.e., another semi-intelligent phone, a computer, etc.) to find your semi-intelligent phone! At least that's what I discovered on my semi-intelligent Android phone in the settings application. Of course, the location in my phone is turned off. Why do I want Android, Google, or whatever else to track my comings and goings? The Lord and I know. My wife knows what is relevant. All of these tracking applications and satellites do not need to know, and they can go away!
Conclusion
I am 65 years young. My mind and wit are still sharp. During my childhood and teenage years, my parents supervised my activities and locations in person. When absent, they relied on other trusted adults to track my activity. My shoes did not have a hidden device that allowed my parents to track my locations stealthily in any manner. At first, we had a party line, rotary-dial phone. Later, we moved up to a single-line, push-button phone. There were no semi-intelligent phones back then.
Currently, states are cracking down on children using their semi-intelligent phones in schools. One source of several is Ballotpedia: State policies on cellphone use in K-12 public schools. Tennessee is a recent state that is doing so.
What about so-called “smart watches” and “smart glasses”? Yes, these contraptions exist also. Generally, state policies that restrict the use of semi-intelligent phones by school-aged children also restrict these.
What is a workaround? Savvy and “with it” parents can buy their children a pair of Where's My Skechers and an Apple AirTag. Behind their children's backs, they can install the AirTag in the shoes, download some application on their semi-intelligent phones, and track their children's whereabouts every second.
Whew! Why not simply trust your children and the adults that supervise them when they are in school? That's what my parents did, and I survived. Of course, parents could raise their children correctly and trust them. What a novel idea!
As a child and teenager, I was what is now called a “free-range kid.” I often explored the woods around the house until dark. My mother had to call to me from the porch to get me to come home for supper.
Last Saturday, why did I have to hear a radio commercial advertising “Where's My Skechers” (without the question mark)? I don't know. It inspired this humorous article. I hope it gave you a laugh or two.
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