Translations

Saturday, February 15, 2025

What is Pill Commercial Overload Syndrome (PCOS)? (published 2-15-2025; article #518)

Introduction

In the above photograph, are those pink M&M's? I didn't think M&M's came in pink. Do I see a brown M&M? Are those little blue pills SweeTARTS? I hope that those oblong, waxy-looking things aren't suppositories!

For months, I have contemplated an article that answers the question in the above title. Today, I decided to place my thoughts into written and audiovisual presentation.

Welcome to the 119th entry in the humor topic section, dear reader! Are you tired of the onslaught of prescription commercials on television and radio? Like dandelions in spring, they pop up everywhere, cajoling us to buy and pop their pills! Needling further, commercials attempt to shoot us up with prescription injections. The cream of the crop are the greasy-handed commercials that lather us up with prescription creams, ointments, and salves.

My use of the acronym PCOS is original. Overloading medications can cause a real medical syndrome. Before my concluding remarks, I highlight a couple of audiovisual pill commercial parodies that I find funny. I hope that you enjoy the humor in those! I did.

Pill commercials need to, well, take a pill. They should be flushed down a commode.

My Use of the Acronym PCOS is Original!

Acronyms can be tricky. For example, “AI” is usually understood as “artificial intelligence.” The acronym, however, can also mean “Appalachian Irishman!” News segments about “AI” could be about this website! Yes, I'm dreaming. My website is based on real human intelligence, not the fake kind that involves complex programming and algorithms. I do not need an artificial crutch.

I hoped that I was creating a new acronym, PCOS, meaning “Pill Commercial Overload Syndrome.” “Pill” stands for all types of prescription pills, capsules, tablets, injections, and creams.

To find out if another witty person had already beaten me to the punchline, I searched online for “What is Pill Commercial Overload Syndrome (PCOS)?” Several results were about a disorder that can affect women in their reproductive years. Sympathetic, I chose and read “Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS),” Mayo Clinic, by Mayo Clinic Staff, 9/8/2022.

Although disappointed to learn that PCOS is already used as a medical acronym, I realized that my meaning for Pill Commercial Overload Syndrome was original! No other witty barb has used the acronym in that way yet, as far as I know.

Medication Overload is a Real Syndrome

Finally, my next online search was simply for “drug overload syndrome.” I discovered that it is a real syndrome. It is usually called polypharmacy or medication overload. Too many people are taking too many pills.

One source of several is “Don’t Be Fooled by Ads: Medication Overload Is Real: Polypharmacy is a devastating public health issue.” Next Avenue: Twin Cities Public Television, Saint Paul, MN, by Terry Fulmer, PhD, RN, FAAN, and The John A. Hartford Foundation, 12/13/2019. The third paragraph begins by stating:

Medication overload among older adults—also known as polypharmacy—is a real and devastating public health issue.

Pill pushers on television and radio are similar to drug dealers, who sell illegal drugs on the street. “Ask your doctor if [insert name of drug] is right for you” is a standard line in many of those commercials.

Years ago, I visited our primary physician at the time. I was suffering from an aggravating cold and fever. In humor, I showed my doctor a list of drugs that were being advertised constantly at the time. With tongue placed firmly in cheek, I asked my doctor, “Are all these medications right for me?” Of course, the doctor understood my joke.

While waiting for my appointment in the lobby, several young and sharply dressed pharmaceutical sales representatives came and left. Each wanted time with a doctor in the medical group. While standing in line to check in, one of those pill pushers tried to cut in line ahead of me. Politely but firmly, I directed him to the back of the line!

Thankfully, at age 64, I do not need or take any prescribed medications. Blessed genetically, I eat right, exercise, and know how to take care of myself. The mute button on the remote is my “pill,” which prevents a migraine, when pill commercials appear on television. My radios have off buttons.

Two Humorous Audiovisual Pill Commercial Parodies

I know what you're thinking. “If this is the 119th entry in the humor topic section, where is the humor?” You have found it here! I happened to come across the following two audiovisual episodes that are quite funny. Serious topics that add a touch of humor often get the point across much better.

First up is “Side Effects Commercial,” NEI Psychopharm (YouTube), 11/3/2016. It's just under three minutes in length. The description states:

Enjoy this parody commercial from the NEI Psychopharmacology Congress. Side effects can occur with any medication, including psychotropics. Adequate management of side effects is essential in order to improve adherence and maximize the chances of successful treatment.

The best one is “Abrain | A Pharmaceutical Commercial Parody,” Nick Peterson (YouTube), 7/22/2024. In just over a minute, the episode nails pharmaceutical commercials! It is a great parody that made me laugh out loud! I know a few people, who need to be taking “Abrain,” don't you?

Conclusion

Do readers with a little age on them remember when cigarette commercials were allowed on television? It was not an April Fools' Day joke. On April 1, 1970, President Nixon signed legislation that officially banned cigarette advertising on television and radio. I was nine, but I recall those commercials. Source: History.com: This Day in History: April 1, 1970: President Nixon signs legislation banning cigarette ads on TV and radio.

Did you know that the United States and New Zealand are the only two developed countries that tolerate direct-to-consumer advertising of prescription medications? They are. Source: “Most high-income countries ban direct advertising of prescription drugs–why does NZ still allow it?” The Conversation, by David Menkes, MD, PhD; Barbara Mintzes, MD; and Joel Lexchin, MD; 8/7/2024.

The constant and harassing pill commercials on radio and television need to stop! In the meantime, I hope that you enjoyed the two audiovisual parodies. One of these days, I may record my own audiovisual parody, but not today.

Thursday, February 13, 2025

The University of Tennessee Medical Center: Paw's Recent Hospitalizations (published 2-13-2025; article #517)

Photograph of UT Medical Center from the top level of a parking garage by M. Fearghail, 2/10/2025, 2:12 PM. The view looks northeast.

Introduction

When will The University of Tennessee Medical Center take down the artificial Christmas tree, still perched atop the building in the photograph? Someone needs to remind them that the tree is still up there.

Welcome, dear reader, to the 131st article in the family topic section. I affectionately call my father-in-law Paw. This is a story about Paw's two recent hospitalizations, thirteen days apart, at UT Medical Center. Thanks to God, my 86-year-old father-in-law is now back to normal at home.

In a complex hospital maze, have you ever taken a left turn, when you should have turned right to get back to your truck in a parking garage? The conclusion explains and adds a humorous conclusion to the stress of Paw's recent hospitalizations. The occasional twitch below my left eye is about to stop.

January 25-29

My father, Earl Ferrell, born on Saturday, September 17, 1927, passed away at home on Friday, January 25, 2008. I remembered silently. Mrs. Appalachian Irishman didn't say if she remembered. The coincidence of the following was not funny.

Last month, on Saturday, January 25, my aged father-in-law was admitted to the UT Medical Center. At about 2:20 PM, other family members and I watched as an ambulance took him to the emergency room. He was admitted that evening. The conclusion to the first article this month mentioned hospital stays last month by my brother and father-in-law.

Just over six weeks prior, on Monday, December 9, 2024, at about 6:30 PM, Paw was taken by ambulance to the emergency room at the UT Medical Center. He was released, not admitted, about 2 AM the next morning. An infection was treated further by a follow-up visit to his primary care physician. His hospital admission on January 25 was due to a similar infection.

My wife, sister-in-law, our niece, and I took turns sitting with my father-in-law in his hospital room. His interior room offered no windows to see the outside world. I pulled one night shift, sleeping only about an hour. Paw, well enough, was discharged to home on Wednesday, January 29. A follow-up with his primary care physician was arranged.

February 7-11

Paw was getting along about as usual at home. On Friday, February 7, however, laboratory results from his primary care appointment earlier that week indicated another infection. His primary care doctor wanted him to be taken to the emergency room. My sister-in-law drove him there in her car. Later that evening, he was admitted again at UT Medical Center. Weekend plans changed. At least this exterior room had a window and offered an outside view.

Once again, the same four family members as late last month took shifts to stay with my father-in-law at the hospital. Hospital beds must be designed to be uncomfortable. The two plastic-covered chairs were not ergonomically designed for human comfort. With no thermostat to control the room temperature, the centralized heating and cooling system constantly blew too cool air into the room. I covered the long vent, below the window, with anything handy to restrict the frigidly cool airflow.

Properly treated with intravenous antibiotics, my father-in-law was discharged again to home on Monday, February 10. A ten-day regimen of oral antibiotics and follow-up at his urologist's office next Wednesday afternoon should permanently resolve the problem. That is our hope and prayer as a family. Dear Lord, thank you for your grace through Christ Jesus. Please allow next Wednesday's office visit to fully resolve my father-in-law's recent difficulties. In Christ's name, Amen.

A kidney stone was the culprit all this time. Thankfully, it was nothing more serious. A kidney stone that causes an infection, three trips to the emergency room, and two hospitalizations is serious enough.

How would you like to be hospitalized twice, thirteen days apart? May no one reading this article ever have to endure that ordeal. Paw did.

My Review of the UT Medical Center

The doctors and staff at the UT Medical Center did right by my father-in-law, for which we are thankful. That is the main point. Before his most recent discharge on Monday, Paw and I conversed at length with one physician in the room. That arranged a call that I received from Paw's primary specialist. In his hospital room that day, one doctor was in the room, while I conversed by phone with the primary specialist. We do not want my father-in-law, in a few days, to have to come back to the hospital for a third stay. Two admissions thirteen days apart were enough.

Hospitals, however, are not fun. Monitoring devices beep and chirp. Hospital odors linger on clothing. Bright and cheery rooms are not a top priority. Why do hospitals prefer dark shades of wall paint in patient rooms? Wouldn't white or light blue wall paint be better?

From home, the one-way drive to the UT Medical Center is about 20 miles. Along the way, stretches of Alcoa Highway need to be repaved. The highway is rife with potholes. The entrance and exit ramps to and from the hospital are rugged and should be repaved. These critiques, however, are toward the Tennessee Department of Transportation (TDOT).

As for the hospital facility, a primary parking garage, where we parked, is six levels high. The two-way lanes are narrow and lit only by the sun during the day. Turning at least nine corners leads to the top level, where I often parked my 2006 Frontier. Driving the distance from the top level down to the entrance is about seven tenths of a mile. Circling at least nine tight corners while facing oncoming traffic, with sunlight and headlights providing the only light, is frustrating. It could make a driver dizzy. At least we didn't have to pay for that type of parking experience. The garage is lit at night. Why can't the lights stay on during the day?

The UT Medical Center itself is a maze of buildings. To find a patient's room, you must know which elevator takes you to the correct floor in the right building. Finding the right elevator is somewhat challenging.

At least the cafeteria food offers variety at a reasonable price. I suggest, however, that buttermilk be added to the beverage offerings. I like a good glass of buttermilk at supper.

Surgeries Today and in April

Today, my youngest sister-in-law, who lives alone in Nashville, underwent surgery. My other sister-in-law, who lives with her father, drove out to stay with her younger sister. Thankfully, the surgery for my youngest sister-in-law went well. She should recover quickly and completely. Her discharge to home should be later today or tomorrow.

In April, my sister-in-law, the middle sister, will undergo surgery to replace her bum right knee with a sparkling new “bionic” knee. As far as we know, no hospital stays or surgeries are in the works for next month. Of course, a person never knows.

Conclusion

What about the humorous conclusion to the stress of Paw's two hospitalizations thirteen days apart? I will confess it now.

Outdoors, especially in the woods, I find directions without a compass. The position of the sun, even behind clouds, points the compass. I often simply sense which direction is north. At night, observing the right stars, if visible, finds north.

Last Sunday, I stayed the second shift with my father-in-law. My local sister-in-law relieved me. Darkness fell before I left. Clouds hid the stars. If it were a clear night, light pollution from various light poles and buildings would have filtered out starlight.

Exiting the south elevator, I turned a second left instead of right. Outside in the darkness, I turned left again, not right as I should have. Meandering around various buildings and parking lots, I finally waved at a passing vehicle. With egg on my face, I asked the kind lady if she knew which direction led to the main parking garage. She pointed in the exactly opposite direction that I had taken. Thanking her, my surgically repaired and “bionic” right foot pounded the same asphalt and concrete back to where I started.

Back inside, near the same elevator, I turned properly to the right. Weaving correctly through the building maze, I came out near the correct parking garage, where my truck awaited me. My truck laughed when I shared my story with him. At home, my wife was somewhat amused.

I hope that you also laughed a little. Just remember to turn right and go straight from the south elevator at UT Medical Center and in life. You will come out right!

Dear Lord, thank you again for blessing us with everlasting life through your Son. I do believe that my wife's side of the family has experienced enough hospitalizations recently. Please bless us all with good health, if it is your will. In Christ's name, amen.

Sunday, February 02, 2025

Groundhog Day 2025: One Egg Costs 69 Cents! Rename the Gulf of Mexico Old Man Kelsey's Ocean! (published 2-2-2025, article #516)

Introduction

Happy Groundhog Day, dear reader, and welcome to the 118th entry in the humor topic section! This morning, if Punxsutawney Phil had been around here and was a late riser, he would not have seen his shadow. This morning in our neck of the woods, the clear sky at dawn gave way to clouds a couple of hours later. Of course, the afternoon became springlike, sunny, warm, and breezy.

Let's first talk about Groundhog Day today. Moving to other points of humor, we will touch on the recent cost of one egg. Finally, why not rename the Gulf of Mexico Old Man Kelsey's Ocean?

I hope that you enjoy a laugh or two. Sometimes we need a good laugh. Life is serious. A steady diet of humor, however, helps when life becomes too serious.

Groundhog Day 2025

Have you ever wondered how Punxsutawney got its name? Punxsutawney is a small town in Jefferson County, Pennsylvania.

Research indicates that the indigenous people named the area “Punkwsutènay,” which translates to "mosquito town." Settling in an area known for mosquitoes was a biting decision. It may not have been the wisest. I do, however, like the sound of Punxsutawney. Improvising, I say “punk-sa-wanty,” “punk-sa-gooney,” or something similar. In this neck of the woods, Punxsutawney would have been named “Skeeter Town!”

What about that groundhog seeing or not seeing his shadow? According to folklore, if the morning is sunny and clear, he comes out, sees his shadow, and goes back underground. That means six more weeks of dreary winter. If, however, the sky is cloudy, he stays above ground, which means spring is coming early. The folklore has always seemed backward to me. Clouds predict bad weather is coming. Sunshine predicts good weather.

The most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow this morning on Groundhog Day. Don't worry, dear reader! Phil is only accurate about 40% of the time.

If you're looking for sources, check out Punxsutawney Groundhog Club: What is Groundhog Day? and “Groundhog Day 2025: Will Punxsutawney Phil See His Shadow?” The Old Farmer’s Almanac, by Catherine Boeckmann, 2/2/2025.

It seems that Groundhog Day has origins in an ancient Celtic celebration. Further, early Christian tradition associates the day with the presentation of the child Jesus in the temple at Jerusalem (Luke 2:22-40).

One Egg Costs 69 Cents!

Groundhogs don't lay eggs, but chickens do. Let's move from groundhogs to eggs! In 2025, how much does a dozen eggs cost? That is a dozen grade A, large hen eggs. What about the cost of one egg this month?

According to US Inflation Calculator: Egg Prices By Year And Adjusted For Inflation, a dozen of these eggs cost $1.51 in 2020. That would be just over 12 cents an egg. The calculator shows the price of a dozen eggs from 1980 to 2022.

Sticker shock alert! Yesterday, while shopping at the local grocery store, I was shocked at the price of a dozen grade A, large eggs! The shelf was about half empty. Shoppers were buying plenty of eggs, probably anticipating further increases.

Yesterday, I bought those dozen eggs at a cost of $8.29! They were marked down 10 cents. I almost didn't buy them. The “long-suffering” Mrs. Appalachian Irishman fixes me a country breakfast on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Through the week, I eat cereal. This morning, I enjoyed two scrambled eggs. That cost us $1.38 or 69 cents per egg.

With egg on my face, I may just eat cereal for breakfast on the weekends. Yesterday, I paid $3.00 for my box of cereal. It was marked down 59 cents. A box of cereal lasts me about five mornings.

My wife and I may need to build a chicken coop, fence it in, and raise chickens. We could sell the extra eggs.

Rename the Gulf of Mexico Old Man Kelsey's Ocean!

“The Education of Ernest T. Bass” on The Andy Griffith Show aired on 10/12/1964, when I was but four years old. I have watched that episode countless times. Each time, it makes me laugh. Andy is trying to teach geography to Ernest T. Bass, specifically national borders.

What is that large body of water to the west of this country? Ernest T. says it's old man Kelsey's ocean! Enjoy watching a clip on “Andy Griffith: Old Man Kelsey’s Ocean.” Sam Manley (YouTube), 3/9/2018!

President Trump has been doing several good things in his first month in office. A few decisions are confusing. He has renamed the Alaskan Mount Denali back to Mount McKinley. Furthermore, he renamed the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. Source: White House: Restoring Names that Honor American Greatness: Executive Order, January 20, 2025.

Let's take it a step further, Mr. President. Why not rename the newly renamed Gulf of American Old Man Kelsey's Ocean!

Conclusion

As I wind down, I hope that you enjoyed a little humor. Last month, my brother, three years younger than me, was hospitalized for four days (1/11-14). Thankfully, he is home and fully recovered. After that, my father-in-law was hospitalized for five days (1/25-29). Thankfully again, he is now home and recovering.

Life is serious. A steady diet of humor, however, helps when life becomes too serious.