“Wally-World Fun” on Saturday, 11/14/2020, in the Context of “Life, Such As It Is” (published 11/22/2020)

The Context of “Life, Such As It Is”

Early this Sunday morning, I started writing this article. (The nearby rooster finally stopped crowing.) Yesterday's 174th hike on House Mountain didn’t cause my “bionic” right foot to “talk to me” at all! For some reason, however, my left “bionic” shoulder is asking me, “What did you do to me yesterday?” Well, I put up with my right foot’s “conversation” every day. I’m used to it after a hike. My left shoulder started a new “conversation.” I may have jammed another rib. I’ll get past it. Just give me time or an unscheduled chiropractic appointment.

Last workweek (11/16–20/2020), my schedule started out as work from home Monday, Tuesday, and Friday but at the office Wednesday and Thursday.

Well, at 6:11 AM on Wednesday, just after I did my usual stretches in bed before getting up and taking my morning “outhouse” water extraction, the office manager called our landline. My wife, who leaves for work about 6:30 AM, answered the phone. I was splashing water (from the sink, mind you) on my face. It seems that one or two coworkers (one who works from home daily and the other, with whom I alternate in the home or office work schedule insanity) had internet trouble at home. One or both would be working at the office. I could work from home. Well, that was good! I won that time, at least.

Later, on the same Wednesday, I had the offer to work the rest of the week from home. I took up the offer. The difference is, for this Thanksgiving (Monday through Wednesday only) short workweek, I work at the office all three days instead of on Wednesday only, as had been the arrangement. I had to balance my work from home all five days last week to work at the office for the three workdays this week. It is all according to the insane schedule, apparently.

I figured that reading the above paragraph would make your head spin! It’s the mad, mad, new cold virus, work-from-home, or at-the-office schedule insanity that has gone wild!

On Monday, 11/16/2020, my wife and I had our usual every-four-week chiropractic adjustments. Our chiropractor is the associate partner of the chiropractor who owns the business. The owner was at work. It was good to see him. (His wife is the office secretary.) He is holding his own, despite his known-to-us health challenge. Our ongoing prayers are with him.

Of course, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman still braves the new cold virus world by driving back and forth to her vice principal/teacher job. My “used to be favorite” sister-in-law still “bravely” teaches online from home.

On Tuesday, 11/17/2020, my youngest brother texted me regarding their oldest daughter in high school. She plays on the high school girls' basketball team. The first game of the season was at 4:30 PM that day. The next day, my youngest brother texted me to say that the team won by one point! My articles from 2/9/2020 and 3/15/2020 were about the success of the Bulls Gap Middle School Lady Bulldogs. Our niece was a starter. The year 2020 started out as a good year. Of course, Corona Myopia, as I call it, was just getting started at the time. I am glad that my high school freshman year (1974) was not encapsulated by a new cold virus. I regret that our niece’s freshman year is.

Yesterday, 11/21/2020, in the late evening, my wife’s youngest sister drove in from Nashville to stay with my in-laws, who live three miles away. I speculate that my wife will be granted permission by the “mask mafia” to visit her family in person for a few days at least. I was right! At the 2:57 PM time of this writing, my wife hasn’t been gone that long ago to visit there today! I knew it.

I wonder how many still go to church in person. For many, church is either home church or virtual church. The context, of course, is Corona Myopia. We are in a home church mode. Church, on many Sunday afternoons for me, is held in the woods.

“Wally-World Fun” on Saturday, 11/14/2020

Whew! At least we got past the above life context as an extended introduction. Now, let’s get to the “Wally-World Fun!”

I don’t care to shop at “Wally-World.” Feel free to make my opinion your own. The last time that I shopped at a “Wally-World” (in Halls) was on 9/9/2017 to buy the stepper that I don’t really need now. (Anyone want a free stepper? My wife used to use it for exercise, but she stopped.)

In 2011, my wife and I bought new Samsung cell phones for about $90 each. That was before “semi-intelligent” (or so-called “smart”) phones came along. Mine still works fine and takes good photographs. Hers had been showing the “white screen of death,” as I call it. Bravely, therefore, we endured a two-hour “Wally-World” experience on Saturday, 11/14/2020. The location was the one near the former East Towne Mall, or Knox Center Mall, which will become the new whatever it becomes eventually.

The following is a photograph of my phone that still works great.

I had already done the online research and had a phone conversation with the in-store Straight Talk (Verizon) representative, who, by the way, enjoyed my Irish wit. The parking lot and store were packed. I located a safe enough parking spot, about a quarter mile walk from the entrance. As we entered, I stated my usual, “Mask off; mask on, as a no longer free man in a once free and great nation.” Most shoppers and all employees wore masks. A few shoppers did not. Everyone, including me, was touching and adjusting their masks.

The Straight Talk (Verizon) representative in the store was delayed, trying to get the Straight Talk technician by phone to set up my wife’s new phone correctly. Needing to get outside to breathe without a mask on, I took a break outside. A mask strap came loose. I stood outside and, using my pocketknife to poke a new hole, I accomplished a country boy improvised strap reattachment, talking with myself in my best hillbilly all the time. I hope the folks passing by were amused.

After almost an hour, the representative had my wife’s new phone set up most of the way. The next photograph is of her new LG Flip cell phone. No, it is not a “semi-intelligent” phone. I won’t own one. The “guvrmint” and whoever else likes to track how long it takes you in the bathroom, etc., even if you shut off the tracking feature. I have seen the television documentaries and read legitimate articles. Also, I don’t want a bulky, large-screen phone!

The LG phone cost us about $30 only. How much did you pay for your latest “semi-intelligent” phone?

With a shopping cart ready, we next shopped for a few household items and groceries. At 3:06 PM, I used my cell phone to call the “Wally World” number. Nine checkout locations were available. Three were open. I suggested, in my Irish manner, that opening a few more checkout lanes would help. We checked out and arrived back home.

Yes, as we left “Wally World,” I spoke loudly, “Mask on; mask off, as a free man again, in a once free and great nation!”

At 5:10 PM, I had managed to set up my wife’s new LG phone the rest of the way. Once again, I won. Modern technology lost.

The weather was warm, but it would have been a good day to hike. I should have hiked in the woods instead of around “Wally World.” My right foot and knee took the pounding on all that concrete and tile much better than I thought. I was glad to get off all those hard surfaces, since my right footstep still feels different. Day by day, the footstep gets closer to normal very slowly.