TUESDAY 6/8/2021: “LIFE, SUCH AS IT IS," UPDATE FOR FUN!

 Introduction

In the most recent article, of 5/23/2021, I promised that my next (this) article would be more entertaining. It has taken me a while to get here, but here I am! With apology to Shirley Temple, “let me entertain you! Let me make you smile!” Don't worry! I know May 31st was Memorial Day and Sunday was the anniversary of D-Day. My serious article on those follows this one.

You might want to click the links, for some side-click fun! That's why I set the links. The banty rooster was still growing, apparently. He sounds like me, when my voice was changing, when I was about age 12.

Crowin' Like a Banty Rooster!

Dad used to tell me, when I was “feelin' my oats” and “braggin' a bit,” that I was “crowin' like a banty rooster.” (I enjoyed “Possibly the funniest Bantam Cockerel crow ever!” On Olive Tree Farm (YouTube), 7/21/2014!) Sometimes, he said it when he was proud of me. Often times, he said it to “bring me down a notch.” I think that Dad would like the crowin' I do below!

On 5/2/2021, Sunday, I ordered my decorative license plate and frame. $35 well spent! On 5/11/2021, Tuesday, I bought and own my “Appalachian Irishman” website logo. $40 well spent. The image, above, is my website logo. (I will add it, on the main page of my website.) I had to buy my logo for the decorative license plate. On 5/19/2021, Wednesday, I received my decorative license plate and frame. The license plate has my logo on it.

On Sunday afternoon, 5/23/2021, I finally got around to placing my decorative license plate, with my logo, on the front plate holder of my new ol' truck! I will publish an image of my truck wearing his new decorative plate and “tars” (below) eventually.

Okay, Dad, I'm done crowin' now! Are you proud of me? I thought so.

“Tars” for my New Ol' Truck

“You need you some new 'tars,' son,” as Dad would have said. Yes, Dad, I have known that my new ol' truck ('06 Nissan Frontier) was needing a new set of “shoes.” The “tar” tread was getting thin enough. I've kept the song “Pardon Me Roy, is that the Cat that Chewed your New Shoes?” in my mind recently. Do you hear, “Pardon me truck, it that the road that chewed your new tires!” I do!

On 5/18/2021, Wednesday, I asked the Express Lube in the Halls area of Knoxville to order the set of four “tars” that I had selected.

They look like good “tars.” Cooper Tires are make in America. You do not want to know the price. You can't buy a good set of “tars” for $50 a “tar” anymore. “A dollar ain't worth much now a days.” The “tars” arrived.

On 5/22/2021, Saturday, Mrs. Appalachian Irishman and I had a little fun. My fine barber and friend, at Tony's Best Clips, gave me another great haircut, while we regaled ourselves in several conversational points. Afterward, at 11:45 AM, I arrived at the Express Lube, in hope of having my new “tars” mounted and balanced.

Mrs. Appalachian Irishman was in line, awaiting an oil change on our '08 Honda Civic. I knew that she had planned the oil change. Her car got an oil change.

They were, however, too busy, with oil changes and others getting new tires. I could have left my truck, gone home in the car with wife. Later, we could have gone back, to get my truck, once they had been able to get the tires mounted and balanced. No deal!

I had arranged, on 6/3/2021, while working at the office, to work from home the next day. The next day, Friday, I worked from home. I took time off from work and got the tires on my truck! It was an Appalachian Irishman victory – despite my “bionic” whatevers. (The poles outside the tire shop helped me stretch out my left shoulder, down my left side, to my left hip. My right foot took the pavement pounding, while fussing at me.)

Molly! Good “Puppy!”

The image below is our “good ol' puppy,” Molly! She and I were hiking, on 11/26/2015. She was almost a year old then. She still looks about the same now, at age five going on six. Well, she has adult dog weight now, but Molly is still all muscle!

On 5/24/2021, Monday, my wife and I had our usual chiropractic adjustments. I had been needing mine for over a week! Dang, unkink my left shoulder, to middle back, to left hip! With apology to Survivor, “the Burning Heart,” it's me against me; it's the paradox that drives me on. When the “whatevers” rise up, as lately, I beat them down, again, as usual.

Anyway, after having arrived home, Molly was too busy in the back yard to “come see the man.” Instead, once we were inside, I happened to see Molly! It was about 5 PM. She was in our “back 40.” A yearling deer made the mistake of visiting. Molly, running in “super doggy” speed, almost caught the yearling at the left hind quarter! Molly, my wife, and I almost had venison! Molly would have had the first serving! I wish that I could have had our video recorder! My mind's eye remembers! Good “puppy!”

Molly sleeps in her basement “condominium” nightly, after having spent the evening inside with us. About 6:30 AM, my wife fixes Molly's breakfast and sets her out to “guard” our property. About 7:30 AM, I bring Molly her “front porch snack.” She's usually there, with tail waging and ready! Molly always gives me a very intelligent look that says, “I love you, man. Thanks for the breakfast snack!” A man and his dog help a man endure the realities of life!

I use my hands, going against the grain, to get “snow doggys” off Molly, in the warm weather. Twice a day is best, morning and evening. She sheds (makes “snow doggys”). I like to see the “snow doggys” pile into clumps in the yard. They look like spots of snow.

Once Molly is inside, in the evenings, she wants to, first, twirl around on the couch. I take off her “doggy necklaces” (collars). Eventually, she goes to the kitchen for “Molly waters,” to get a drink from her water bowl that we bring in from either the garage or the front porch. After a while, once Molly has gone out and back in, through either the back or front doors, a time or two, it's time for the “Got-Ems” game!

The “Got-Ems” game is fun! I divide six favorite treats into two, to make twelve, plus a “brush your teeth doggy” biscuit. I count to Molly as I divide her treats.

I can't get Mrs. Appalachian Irishman to video record Molly and me, playing the “Got-Ems” game! I've tried. Imagine the following: I'm standing, with “Got-Ems” in hand, in the living room, near the steps to Molly's basement condominium. Molly is near my feet. She has “readies!” That is, her eyes are bright and looking up. I toss up, just above her head, one “Got-Em” at a time, counting as we go. Molly catches most. Sometimes, she has a “tooth bouncer” that lands on the floor or goes down the stairwell (which I retrieve for her). Number 12 is the “finish strongly” final “Got-Em,” before the “toothbrusher” doggy biscuit. I don't know if Molly enjoys the “Got-Ems” game any better than I do! I catch Mrs. Appalachian Irishman smiling at times. Video record us, dear! I had wanted to publish the video now!

I Had to Write This, Dear!

I had told Mrs. Appalachian Irishman that I wouldn't write the following. Sorry, dear! I changed my mind!

On 5/27/2021, Thursday, I had returned home from working at the office. My wife had beaten me home from her job. (Her last work day was 6/1/2021. She's on summer break now. Oh, I must add that summer started on 6/1/2021. It does not start on 6/20/2021. I know. I can prove it.) The sun was out fully. I came in. My wife was in the kitchen. I said howdy. I noticed that the kitchen light was on, with blinds still closed. (I'd left them closed, before driving to work, about 7:30 AM, to keep the sun from coming in the south side windows. The sun was on the other side of the house now). I open all south side window blinds. I turn off the kitchen light. I turn off a lamp in the living room. I wondered. I asked. Well, that was my mistake! I was just “deviling you a bit,” dear!

On 6/2/2021, Tuesday, I was working at home. My wife had her first day of summer vacation. She wanted to run an errand. She couldn't find the keys to our '08 Honda Civic that she drives. Earlier, about 7:45 AM, I had noticed them, on the passenger side windshield of the car, which was in the garage. (I'd been visiting with Molly, before work.) I had placed the keys, stealthily, in the microwave – knowing what would happen eventually. About 11 AM, while I'm working at home, my wife indicated her errand. She looked for the keys. She couldn't find them. She looked in the garage. No keys were on or inside the car. I took a break from work. What are you doing, dear? Trying to find your keys? Look in the microwave! Well, I got a smile on that joke! She decided not to rake me across the coals that time! I was lucky!

By the way, dear, this is my third article, since I “hid” your anniversary card, on 5/16/2021.

Will you ever find it? Did you find it? If so, has the “cat got your tongue?” I look forward to your pithy comment – if you ever get around to it!

By the way, I love you, dear! If I didn't, I wouldn't “devil you” with my humor as much! Thanks for being the “long-suffering” Mrs. Appalachian Irishman.

Conclusion

Comedy is the best medicine. I use my verbal and written artistic talent (i.e., my blarney) and sarcastic sense of humor, as one way to endure the realities of life. Life is good. Life is bad. It varies.

Use the everlasting perspective, to place this temporal life, into the context of everlasting life. That's the best way to cope with life realities, when they are “not too good,” as Hoyt would say, on John Boy and Billy.

By the way, why do folks drive all that way and do whatever they do, to get tickets to the Smoky Mountain lightning bug show? No, they are not “fire flies!” I can watch lightning bugs from our deck. Come on, man! (I thought that you might like that as an ending.)